Dartegnian's Mood Calendar

That Wraps 2023!

Sun, 31 Dec 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Good

I woke up today feeling anxious about some things, but everything was okay by the afternoon. We had a lot of food and celebrations in place for New Year's Eve. In the afternoon, I got into a call with my friends and spent a good chunk of my time with them, watching them play God of War. I had fun talking to a lot of my friends, like Kai, Max, Meryll. Even Meryll got to feature my mood calendar posts in her IG Story! I was honestly quite surprised, but happy that so many people took interest in this little project of mine. And now the year's wrapped, I spent most of the evening with my friends and watching them get frustrated with killing a valkyrie. It was fun, I greeted them and other friends as the clock struck midnight. And with that, my 2023 journey comes to an end.

Song of the day: I'll Be Home For Quismois by Camilla Cabello

Lyrics that resonated with me:
I'll be home for Quismois
You can count on me
Please have snow and mistletoe
And presents under the tree

Journal entry for Saturday, December 30th, 2023

Sat, 30 Dec 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Good

I was anxious for most of the day, and I *know* why but I can't *say* why. At least not here. But for most of the day, I was anxious and I felt pressured. It culminated in the afternoon by me being disappointed at an outcome. I felt extreme pressure after that, but instead of going ballistic, I was able to channel all that anxiety and pressure into something else. I made a real effort to clean parts of the house today. I looked at old screenshots for a bit and I read a passage from something I used to read back in 2019. > Whatever. I'm not against being alone, anyway. It was like this last year. I'll be going through this year just like last year.<br /><br />I'm sure being alone is just my thing. I'm alone, but I spent most of my recent years with my friends. And I'm at a point in my life now where it makes sense to start letting go, slowly, of everything I know now. I watched Past Lives once again—fully—to get a complete grasp of the situation I'm in. After all that happened today, I had spare time reconnecting with old friends like Exavier, Jaymz, and Sean. I got to tell Exavier how my year went and I'm glad he asked. I'm also happy to play Need for Speed Heat with Jaymz and Sean. I also got to talk to my sister and confide in her about how my life has went recently. Even though my feelings feel hurt, and my heart is weirdly beating for some reason, I'm glad to *still* have people in my life who care and love to spend time with me.

Song of the day: Drama by aespa

Journal entry for Friday, December 29th, 2023

Fri, 29 Dec 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

I woke up late again, but I had the most vivid dream. I got to watch my friends play God of War in a call for *hours* and it honestly surprised me. After watching them play, we hung around to watch some of the usual caving disaster videos, and then I offered to watch me while I play The Last of Us: Part 1. We got far into the story, nearing the end of it, but the time was cut short when they had some Internet problems. I was supposed to accompany them in the night as well but I genuinely ended up sleeping.

Song of the day: Girls' Capitalism by tripleS

Mon, 25 Dec 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

I'm surprised that I spent the majority of the day just staying at home. I didn't get into a call with anyone, I didn't have anyone to go out with on Christmas Day either. Aside from talking to a few people on Instagram and Discord, I didn't socialize that much with anyone today. Everything seemed quiet, maybe *too quiet*. It's weird, I met so many new people this year and have come across so many things only for me to end up mostly-alone at the end of the year. And, maybe I like it this way. I'm comfortable with the peace I have today. I didn't stress over anything, nor was I bothered by someone/something. I was perfectly content, I could do whatever I want, and I spent my time how I wanted it to be spent. Truth is, I've dealt with a lot of things these past few years and a lot of them had some drama in one form or another. Really weird and painful stuff. From a girl that wanted me to be their someone quickly, to a person messaging me with lazy replies, and a person that seemed nice but didn't pan out, I've been through **A LOT** this year, for nothing. All that struggle for me to not be with anyone. Maybe this is good enough for now. I could use the peace and quiet.

Song of the day: London Bridge by Fergie

Lyrics that resonated with me:
How come every time you come around
My London London Bridge wanna go down?
Like London London London wanna go down
Like London London London be goin' down like

How come every time you come around
My London London Bridge wanna go down?
Like London London London wanna go down
Like London London London be goin' down like

Journal entry for Sunday, December 24th, 2023

Sun, 24 Dec 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Excellent

I got to talk with my friends again today and they were surprised for the gift I gave them. I'm happy that they now have Sons of the Forest and we played the game for a few hours in the afternoon. It was really fun but it was very difficult, so we moved onto other games we could play. Since they already have God of War downloaded, they played it on stream and progressed a bit into the opening story. We were on call for actually a long time, which surprised me, and then I had a call with other friends in the evening. After sharing some stories between us, I slept before I got ready to leave to my cousin's house. When we got there, they served good food and I personally liked the homemade apple pie. Most of my cousins were there, except for 2, and I got to play games alongside them. I'm surprised that I actually won at a specific game of luck, which made me have the most money won that night. I'm surprised by my luck once again. The day ended when we got home and I got some good rest afterwards.

Song of the day: Thirsty by aespa

Journal entry for Saturday, December 23rd, 2023

Sat, 23 Dec 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Good

I actually mostly slept today, I think I slept for 14 hours or more. Idk why, I guess I'm just so tired. I only woke up to have lunch and went back to sleeping. In the evening, I went to Loy's house just so I can attend their festivities and eat there. I got to talk to his parents again, and met some of his family that I haven't seen in a long time. He showed me his brand-new Steam Deck OLED and, when I got home, I got to play Overwatch with him. Our last game ended on a really good win and it was fun catching up with him. Loy did try to ask me about returning to my old IMC group, but I left that far behind me now. At the end of the year, I'm not looking to restore connections. As the new year starts, I'm ready to greet it with the people I already have now and meet new people that the new year might bring. I guess I should let life surprise me next year.

Song of the day: All Star by Smash Mouth

Last Day of Work!

Fri, 22 Dec 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

Today was the last day of work for the year! So this means I'm just going to lounge around and chill for the rest of the year. Sure, my Christmas break this year wasn't as much as my Christmas break in 2021, but I'm happy to take what I can get. I *really* need the sleep. After work, I got to play Layers of Fear and my friends watched me finish it. So that was a fun and creepy game, we both were intrigued by the story. Afterwards, I moved to installing The Last of Us Part I again but they had already slept, so I called it a day.

Song of the day: Sugar by Maroon 5

Journal entry for Thursday, December 21st, 2023

Thu, 21 Dec 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Special

I thought today was going to be bad, like really bad. It started off horribly. Come afternoon, however, things were turning out great. I ate good food and got into a pretty interesting situation. I liked it. I really, really liked it. It was fun and I don't need to further explain what happened.

Song of the day: Our Song by Taylor Swift

Journal entry for Wednesday, December 20th, 2023

Wed, 20 Dec 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Bad

The day was normally okay, as normal as things could get but something really bad happened by the evening.

Song of the day: The Feels by TWICE

Journal entry for Tuesday, December 19th, 2023

Tue, 19 Dec 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

I couldn't sleep at all last night and, the morning I woke up, my body felt like hell. Thankfully, in the evening, I felt better and I got to watch the new episodes of Singles Inferno with someone. It was pretty fun and we both were stunned at how much drama had happened, and how long the 2 new episodes were.

Song of the day: Play It Loud by Black Eyed Peas

Journal entry for Monday, December 18th, 2023

Mon, 18 Dec 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Good

I met up with someone today and I got my Nintendo Switch back! It's been so long but I honestly missed my Switch, too bad I'm selling it to someone else, though. I also bought a phone today, which seemed nice. When I got home, I played Layers of Fear and it got pretty scary, honestly.

Song of the day: Thinking Of You by Katy Perry

Journal entry for Sunday, December 17th, 2023

Sun, 17 Dec 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Average

Nothing much happened today. Bummer. I did watch a lot of "movie recaps" and I watched one of a Chinese show titled "Reset" and it had a pretty fun, cute storyline that I liked, so that was good.

Journal entry for Saturday, December 16th, 2023

Sat, 16 Dec 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Special

The world doesn't need to know what happened today.

Christmas Party

Fri, 15 Dec 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Good

Today was my company's Christmas party! Honestly? I felt like not just showing up at all for the event. I didn't feel okay enough and my head was in an entirely different space, thinking of other things. I even had friends at the event to help me out. So, getting to the event, it was pretty weird. Thankfully, once the event had started, things were pretty much smooth sailing. I got chosen in the best-dressed pageant and got to strut for a bit. My answers were total cringe and I had a weird wardrobe malfunction, which left me embarrassed for the rest of the event. I won a vacuum in the Christmas raffle, and it was okay. Someone in our company was selling 25 kilograms of rice for cheap (that was their raffle prize) and I bought it, and someone else wanted to trade me their 25 kilograms of rice for *my* vacuum cleaner. We didn't need another vacuum cleaner, so I traded it for rice leaving me with **50 kilograms of rice** by the end of the event.

Song of the day: Am I Wrong by Cinderella Original Motion Picture Cast

Journal entry for Thursday, December 14th, 2023

Thu, 14 Dec 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

Not much happened today. It was your usual day for me and, around evening, I went out to eat samgyupsal alone in BGC. I haven't done so in a long time and I missed it. So many things have changed and the menu is entirely new. I loved the beef enoki and it reminded me of how much I missed eating mushrooms. When I got home, the evening was fairly-normal.

Song of the day: Wavin' Flag (Celebration Mix) by K'NAAN

White Day Finished!

Wed, 13 Dec 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Good

I had finished playing White Day today! Someone was watching my entire playthrough and it felt nice to actually complete the game, granted there were some hints and tips that helped me progress faster (because some parts were vague as hell), and I'm personally glad to be out of that horrific high school. We also watched a recap of the story and how it actually was supposed to play out because I didn't get the proper ending to the game. It was fun, all things considered, and someone made me jump to the next game.

Song of the day: Bejeweled by Taylor Swift

Journal entry for Tuesday, December 12th, 2023

Tue, 12 Dec 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

I got in a call with Meryll and Max today and had fun in a call with my friends. I also played Sims 4.

Journal entry for Monday, December 11th, 2023

Mon, 11 Dec 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Good

I had admitted to someone what had happened last week and how things were going for me. I expected it to turn out bad, and I honestly expected to feel disappointed, but life had surprised me and I was pretty surprisingly happy about how things turned out. I even played Lethal Company today with someone and Luan again today.

Journal entry for Sunday, December 10th, 2023

Sun, 10 Dec 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

This day didn't really turn out quite what I expected it to be. But I played Lethal Company with friends in the morning and mostly had the night for myself. So I guess it was pretty much okay.

Malling and Movies with Meryll

Sat, 09 Dec 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Excellent

My plan for today was to hang out, play mini golf with Max and Meryll today. We had this day planned as our only outing/trip for December, since all of our other plans fell through. When I woke up, I was late for a bit since the call time was around 11 a.m. and it was already around 10:30, so I rushed in getting ready and booked a ride sometime later because the booking process took so long. When we got there, Max told us that she wasn't okay and that she should get a check-up at a hospital nearby. Meryll and I tag along as we both get there and, as Max gets checked in and tested, Meryll and I separate from her to talk and hang around the hospital. We got Starbucks and then I proceeded to tell her about how my last Monday went. She was surprised, but honestly supported me, and even encouraged me to an extent. It was a pretty fun conversation with her and Max showed up sometime later to tell us that she's not feeling okay and that she won't be able to push through. We all talk about going to SM Megamall instead and I try to persuade Max into not pushing through as she might get weak and pass out, or something else horrible will happen. She decides to just go home instead to prioritize her health as she'll get more tests done tomorrow. So it was just Meryll and I left. We both were unsure if we were going to book a ride to the mall or commute, but I ask her if we can just walk by foot instead since the mall is around 20 minutes away. While walking, we talk about various things in life: our current careers, the romantic situations we are in now and the ones before, our friends' relationships, and so on. There was a time where we had stumbled a small place on a bridge that had a fountain and some seats, and we talked about the romantic lives of others and other things. I just looked up at the buildings and found the situation nice. When we got to the mall, both of us just had a fun time walking together. We got to Timezone and I taught her how to play Wangan Midnight and how to manuever my manual transmission car. We then bought boba tea and I gossiped to her about my new crush at the company and we both laughed at it. We also got dinner and ate together, then watched The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes. She remarked about how much I react when watching a movie but it was fun. By the time the movie was over, my phone's battery had died and we both had problems trying to book a ride home. But we both booked and left at relatively the same time and we both had fun all day.

Song of the day: Fashion Week - Remix by icarus

Journal entry for Friday, December 8th, 2023

Sat, 02 Dec 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

I looked forward to something today that didn't really materialize. Hahaha, that's funny. I guess that's what I get for basing my happiness on external things (again). Serves me right, but I'm not down and out or anything. I'm OK. In the morning, I was actually surprised that I got invited by my friends for a call and we stayed on call for a few hours while I just played Marvel's Spider-Man Remastered in the background, getting my game to 100% completion. In the afternoon, I took a nap and then woke up to Nathan telling me they'll come over, then cancelling thereafter. Since I had nothing to do in the evening, I decided to go outside and getting my friends Mini Brands as a gift to them. I missed going to Greenbelt during the Christmas season and, since I was also here last year with my mom, I went to Smash Burger again just like before. I didn't expect that a single burger would make me full, but I'm glad it did was pretty expensive. After eating, I went to the arcades to play Wangan Midnight. I was actually pretty lucky to find an arcade that had 7 (FREE) credits! What the hell? That was a lot of money and someone just left it without second thoughts? Anyway, I got to complete a few story-related races and got to face off several local multiplayer matches. When I got home, I decided to upskill for DevOps and learned some Terraform on the side.

Song of the day: California Gurls by Katy Perry

Lyrics that resonated with me:
California girls, we're unforgettable
Daisy Dukes, bikinis on top
Sun-kissed skin so hot, we'll melt your popsicle
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
California girls, we're undeniable
Fine, fresh, fierce, we got it on lock
West Coast represent, now put your hands up

Journal entry for Friday, December 1st, 2023

Fri, 01 Dec 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Below Average

Something felt very off today. I can't put my finger on it, but I feel like something bad happened. Even in the afternoon, I felt so anxious. I'm also so sleepy today, I slept at 5 and stood up late with my friends. In the evening, I wasn't sure if I was going to go out with my friends or if I'm just going to stay at home and deal with my emotions. I chose the latter, I don't really want to come to my friends and be broken (again, for the nth time) and I just dealt with my emotions as I genuinely would. I'm anxious for tomorrow, but I know what I'm doing and I don't really care about anything anymore. I tried backreading, and again I remember that there's a reason why I shouldn't do it anymore. Things are way different now, and it shows.

Song of the day: INDUSTRY BABY (feat. Jack Harlow) by Lil Nas X, Jack Harlow

Journal entry for Thursday, November 30th, 2023

Thu, 30 Nov 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

Today was a usual day for me, I got into a call with friends but we didn't stay together for that long in the evening. I mostly recall feeling very sleepy today, but nothing much was that different.

Song of the day: Di Bale Na Lang by Gary Valenciano

Journal entry for Wednesday, November 29th, 2023

Wed, 29 Nov 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

Nothing much happened today, everything was fairly routine. I did have an issue with my bank in the afternoon. (And it still isn't resolved by the time of writing, they have a bad DevOps handling them.) But other than that, my day was as usual as it was: fun, games, music. I spent most of the day with my friends and it was fun to watch them play Sims 4 after work. I also got to play Stardew Valley with them for a bit, then Lethal Company with Luan tagging along. We had good runs, I know we got good at the game because we aren't as scared and we didn't die that much today. Today was also the day Spotify Wrapped got released. It's not much from what I can see on my Last.fm profile, but it was still fun to look at.

Song of the day: California Gurls by Katy Perry

Journal entry for Tuesday, November 28th, 2023

Tue, 28 Nov 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

I slept on time but surprisingly woke up an hour later than my usual time in. Someone tried to wake me up, and even call me, so that I can get up for work. I appreciate their efforts, but I sadly didn't wake up from them, still, haha. Work was a lot today. It was very tiring and draining. I'm really starting to wonder if I'm burned out, like, **really** burned out. I personally think I'm burned out. With how 2023 has been, I kind of feel like I just want a really long rest. A breather from things. Unfortunately, I could only dream of those as I attended meetings and I was faced with something that rocked me to the core. I personally felt weak. I was able to compose myself for a bit afterward. In the evening, I played several rounds of Lethal Company with my friends and Luan again. We played Phasmophobia again shortly after. It was fun, but I guess Phasmo wasn't as scary anymore since I wasn't that afraid. After playing for a few rounds and winning, the evening still had me worried about a lot of things. I paced back and forth, giving myself a pep talk because I was so close to being emotionally on the edge. After calming myself down, I got to work on my problem and fixed 2 of them. So that was nice. I'm still shaken, but thankfully not stirred anymore.

Song of the day: Closer by The Chainsmokers, Halsey

Lyrics that resonated with me:
Hey, I was doing just fine before I met you
I drink too much and that's an issue, but I'm okay

Journal entry for Monday, November 27th, 2023

Mon, 27 Nov 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Below Average

I decided to watch Bedtime Stories (2008) so that I'll have some imagination and inspiration again. I seriously love this movie, this is definitely my 2nd or 3rd favorite movie of all time. I also decided to watch a good chunk of Hall Pass (2011). Those were movies I watched while growing up and they helped me feel better, even though I was trying so hard to keep it together. I did some small DevOps learning so that I could be better in my future jobs. I took notes on my newly-deployed notes app/website and it was actually pretty fun to use, ngl. After taking notes, calming down by finishing Bedtime Stories, I got to talk to my friends again. They opened up something, I offered that we play Stardew Valley but we didn't really talk it out over the game. Only after the game we had a discussion about it. Then we had a mutual agreement in the end, that was that. The night continued as usual.

Song of the day: Psychic City - Classixx Remix by YACHT

Journal entry for Sunday, November 26th, 2023

Sun, 26 Nov 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

I got to finish the initial version of my DDLC easter egg to this website! Saturday to Sunday morning was such a sleepless stretch. I couldn't even sleep properly, I don't know why. So I woke up late, probably 1 or so and I feel like I had a weird dream but I forgot. Anyway, not much happened in the afternoon. In the evening, I got to play Lethal Company with my friends and Luan, we had a lot of rounds and I think it's a pretty fun game. When we finished playing, my friends and I decided to watch A Haunting in Venice (2023) and it was pretty good. I expected it to be a horror movie, like one with ghosts and spooky stuff, but no, it was a thriller—a murder mystery, to be exact. It was good but wasn't what I expected. I wasn't sleepy, and the argument really drained me, so I decided to watch Bedtime Stories (2008) and then slept after watching a good bit.

Song of the day: Doki Doki Literature Club! by Dan Salvato

Journal entry for Saturday, November 25th, 2023

Sat, 25 Nov 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Fri, 17 Nov 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Sun, 05 Nov 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Good

Today actually got me nervous. I'm going to have friends come over to my house and they'll just hang out here. Having friends over isn't really a common thing for me, to be honest. I rarely have people come over my house and stay here. But Nate and his girlfriend Ane arrived here and they stayed for around 4 hours. We got to play Tekken and some games together. It was pretty fun, Nate got to beat me eventually once he started remembering the moves to Asuka's combos. I tried my best with my main girl Alisa, but sometimes he was just good at using Asuka. We had some conversations as well about the thing that's bothering me, and for what it's worth, it was nice having them be actually here, even though I'm doing so bad lately. Around the end of the day, we got to order take-out food from Jollibee and ate together while watching the Internet Historian. It was pretty fun and I appreciated them stopping by. The 4 hours they stayed barely felt like 30 mins and I wish I could have more friends drop by here.

Song of the day: Now That We Don't Talk (Taylor's Version) (From The Vault) by Taylor Swift

Journal entry for Saturday, November 4th, 2023

Sat, 04 Nov 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Bad

I just tried to lie in bed all day, sleeping it off, and feeling bad about things. Even though I was just with my friends yesterday, I still feel very lonely.

Out in Makati

Fri, 03 Nov 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Excellent

### Wow, was this day fun. It's been soooooooo long since I've spent a "normal" day outside. A day where I'm just focused on being with my friends with no other distractions. I didn't have to worry about anything else, my only agenda for today is to be with my friends, hang out, and just have fun. I spent the day with Max and Meryll again. I met with my friends at the Odd Cafe in Salcedo, Makati, and I have to say that our first stay there was pretty nice. We got to have a seat near the wall outlet and we were able to charge our devices. Since my friends knew my story, I had shared with them what I was going through and how painful the past few days have been for me. I'm glad they listened, then we moved on to talking about mundane stuff like which movies we should watch together, and how Marvel's new season of Loki was good. After that, we packed our stuff to eat at a store called Gino's Brick Oven Pizza nearby. I *missed* eating there, I swear. It's literally been years since we last ate at Gino's and it was really good. I missed the spicy honey and the pasta dishes we ordered we really good. When we all finished eating, we were so full! We walked around Salcedo Village to burn off what we ate and then went back to the Odd Cafe. When we got back, some of my friends had work to do since they weren't on leave for that day. We still talked, then had a spontaneous idea of watching Taylor Swift's Eras Tour movie again since the 2 of them haven't watched it. When I first watched it, I didn't really enjoy it because I *barely* sang any songs, even though I'm a big swiftie. We all agreed and then timed out, then headed to Glorietta mall by foot. To be honest, I deeply missed the feeling of walking around Makati's walkways and sidewalks in the afternoon. This area was the place where I had my first job and first company secondment. I deeply missed being here and I remembered how fun it was to be outside and being able walking around, after being stuck at home for so long. We got to the mall, ate some food, then had a really fun time watching the Eras Tour movie. I even had a hoarse voice at the end of it and got to sing all the songs I loved, especially Taylor's version of Long Live. Today was really, really fun and it reminded me of how fun working outside actually is. I get to be with friends, "work" alongside them, and even have spontaneous plans after work with them. I wish I could have more of these days in the future.

Song of the day: Cruel Summer by Taylor Swift

Journal entry for Thursday, November 2nd, 2023

Thu, 02 Nov 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Bad

We visited our dead relatives today and paid our respects. I still wasn't okay throughout most of the day. I was worried about it being the end of things. I was trying to convince myself that it was.

Song of the day: Five Nights at Freddy's by The Living Tombstone

Lyrics that resonated with me:
We're waiting every night
To finally roam and invite
Newcomers to play with us
For many years we've been all alone

No Title

Wed, 01 Nov 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Awful

A major fight broke out of nowhere. They didn't want to care about the problems I was going through. They tried their best to explain what they meant by that, but I was having none of it and asked them to apologize. They still didn't, and we both just ended with our stances unchanged. They suggested that I take my time to be okay and that I should contact them when I'm better, but I took it as something else. Why would a close "friend" leave me behind, to only talk to them when I'm okay, but when they're not okay, I'm *always* there for them, no matter what. It really irked me so I decided that I would just walk away and end this mess.

Song of the day: Thinking Of You by Katy Perry

Lyrics that resonated with me:
Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection

Journal entry for Tuesday, October 31st, 2023

Tue, 31 Oct 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

I had a fun day with my friends today. We mostly just played games and we tried Moving Out, it was pretty fun but we both got frustrated when we weren't able to place this thing perfectly in the truck.

Song of the day: Daylight by Taylor Swift

Journal entry for Monday, October 30th, 2023

Mon, 30 Oct 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

Today was pretty fun. I played The Last of Us while my friends watched. I also played Phasmophobia with friends from work. The Halloween update was pretty fun. It was a good day, even though I tried to go out and unsuccessfully play at the arcades today.

Song of the day: Where We Come From by Lecrae, Boi-1da

Journal entry for Sunday, October 29th, 2023

Sun, 29 Oct 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

I barely slept last night but I also woke up early, around 7 a.m. or so. Today's the day where our beach trip ends and we go back to our homes. My family members told me to enjoy the beach and swim, but I just politely declined since I don't want to go through the hassle of changing clothes to swim. So just walked along the shoreline and talked to myself, thinking about other things in life and where mine's headed. After packing my bags and taking our last photos, we went home. The ride home was hot as hell and very uncomfortable since it was almost close to noon. I couldn't sleep that much during the trip, so I just watched more K-Pop videos. When I got home, it felt so nice to actually go back to my "battle station" and to see my room again. I got some rest, talked to friends, and mostly spent most of my evening alone. So I just spent some of my time talking to Kai.

Song of the day: I'm the One by DJ Khaled, Justin Bieber, Quavo, Chance the Rapper, Lil Wayne

Beach Episode 🏖️

Sat, 28 Oct 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Special

Today's another Saturday to look forward to! I'm *finally* gonna go out of the house again to go to the beach! ⛱ I was so excited for it and I got woken up really early. When I finished preparing with my family, we got into the van my cousin rented. It was kind of quick trip to Bantangas and I had mobile data with me throughout the entire journey, so I was able to catch up on the latest song from LE SSERAFIM and I really liked it. I got to play some Linkin Park songs as well, but it was a very peaceful ride out from Metro Manila, Tagaytay, then Batangas. When we got to the parking lot, we got our stuff and I saw the beach. It was *awesome*, honestly. I haven't seen the beach in almost forever. I think the last time I went to the beach was in 2019 or so with my past company's outing. The place we stayed at wasn't that great, it looked really cheap and a lot of vendors were always swarming the area. It was a very public space and the rooms were kinda unkempt, but it was fine since I'm joining this for free. I got to swim in the beach shortly after, even though it was under the scorching sun at noon. The water was really cold and it's been a while since I've tasted saltwater, so it was kind of a fun, new-ish experience. Around later in the afternoon, I got to go snorkeling with my mom, sister, and some of my other family members. I was actually scared to get my Samsung Note 20 Ultra in the water because it had already suffered from water damage. I tried to take some photos and videos while diving underwater, but I didn't dove deep and my phone was kind of malfunctioning while the video was recording. We also got to ride a banana boat ride and got tossed out to the water by the end of it. It was fun and it was horrible because I was placed at the front. I couldn't see anything because the seawater from the jetski kept hitting my face. But we had a fun ride regardless. I also took more photos of my cousins and their friends while in the water. I threw caution to the wind and use my phone bare, even splashed it across the water to show off/scare people who were looking after my phone. I got to rest after than and then ate some really good food that they were cooking. They had everything and what I liked the most was either the grilled *liempo* or *sisig*. It was a lot of really, really good food and I felt full afterward. My sister and I also had some slight panic session when we thought mom was missing, but they were actually just shopping around the area. I drank some coffee during that time and then went back to my sleeping quarters to talk to Max about life and a bunch of other things. Overall, it was fun, I got to sleep at around 2 a.m. and it was a pretty solid, special day outside. October really has a way of packing great events into one month, honestly. Best October of my life so far.

Song of the day: Perfect Night by LE SSERAFIM

Lyrics that resonated with me:
Come and take a ride with me
I got a credit card and some good company
Some come through
Make the fit real good
Why you still stuck on loading?
Waitin' on you, babe

Journal entry for Friday, October 27th, 2023

Fri, 27 Oct 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Below Average

When I woke up, I felt really bad. I had a small cough yesterday and it turned into a full-blown cough with phlegm today. I thought I could power through work today and I was able to attend 2 meetings in the morning, but during the second one, I lost consciousness and missed a morning meeting. When I woke up, I decided that I really wasn't okay and that powering through today will only cause me more pain and it might render me bedridden for tomorrow's family outing. I decided to file for a sick leave from work and then rested the whole day. I ate and then got to watch episode 4 of Loki Season 2. It was mind-blowing, honestly. I have never been so gripped by the ending of an episode so much. I don't remember much after that.

Song of the day: Anti-Hero by Kidz Bop Kids

Lyrics that resonated with me:
Sometimes I feel like everybody is a little baby
And I'm a monster on the hill
Too big to hang out, slowly lurching toward your favorite city
Straight through the heart but never thrilled

Sister's Graduation 🎓

Thu, 26 Oct 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Excellent

I was up early in the morning to attend my sister's graduation. I'm glad that they were actually able to reach this point in their life and it seems to be the end of their academic life. Finally! So that's done. The speaker for the graduation event was someone who didn't go through the usual route of formal education and they went down the path of working instead, something I resonated deeply with as a college dropout who had to work in their teens. Hearing their story was inspiring, and so was the entire graduation ceremony itself. It's honestly very unlikely that I'll graduate so this will be my only experience of a college graduation. I got up on the stage along with my sister and mom, and I got to see my sister bid farewell to their friends. For the evening, we got to eat at some steakhouse and that made me feel too full, despite barely eating anything the whole day. Maybe the "well done" steak wasn't my thing. When I got home, I got to play The Forest with my friends and we found a new place to set up a base on. It was a difficult choice to move bases, but it was fun setting up everything.

Song of the day: I'm the One by DJ Khaled, Justin Bieber, Quavo, Chance the Rapper, Lil Wayne

Journal entry for Wednesday, October 25th, 2023

Wed, 25 Oct 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

my friends played some songs from Frozen 2's soundtrack today and, whew, it sure sent *chills* down my spine. Not because it was a cool soundtrack, but because it reminded me of a time when I was deeply into them. When I played some of the songs, it took me back to that time in January-February 2022, and I still remember how we both watched Frozen 2 in early February. It pulled on a sense of nostalgia for me that I couldn't explain. But know one thing for sure: I miss the feeling of being in love. Like I had my friends and something good to look forward to. Even though I deeply miss those days, it's unlikely that they'll come back. Listening to this soundtrack really tugs on my heartstrings.

Song of the day: Lost in the Woods by Jonathan Groff

Journal entry for Tuesday, October 24th, 2023

Tue, 24 Oct 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

I got introduced by Ane into their friend group and I got to talk to some of their friends. I played poker on Discord with them and it was pretty fun. They seem like the RC and it was fun to hang around with them.

Song of the day: comethru by Jeremy Zucker

Lyrics that resonated with me:
Now I'm shaking, drinking all this coffee
These last few weeks have been exhausting

Journal entry for Monday, October 23rd, 2023

Mon, 23 Oct 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

It was your usual Monday for me, with me playing The Forest with my friends in the evening and we started to look for a new place to build a base on.

Song of the day: Way Less Sad by AJR

Journal entry for Sunday, October 22nd, 2023

Sun, 22 Oct 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Good

In the morning, we all woke up at around 9 a.m. to have the complimentary breakfast that was provided with our stay. I ordered eggs, toast, and hotdogs with coffee for my breakfast meal. It was pretty good and I actually wasn't able to finish it without taking a long time to eat. Meanwhile, my friends were calling me in the morning, after telling my friends that we'll play later, I continued my day by going out with my family and we tried to find this old Japanese restaurant from when I used to work in Makati, only to find it closed and the entire restaurant business had shut down. We ate at another Japanese restaurant but it wasn't as good. We strolled around for a bit more in the mall, got Starbucks, and went home. When I got home, I got to play The Forest with my friends and it was a fun evening, with us joking around and doing our usual routine.

Song of the day: Christmas Must Be Something More by Taylor Swift

The Saturday I’ve Waited For! 🎉

Sat, 21 Oct 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Special

### TODAY IS THE DAY: SATURDAY!!!!!! My God, today is actually **really packed**, holy shit. I have these 2 major events going on today: - Hanging out with Rachel at the National Museum. - Setting up my things at the Airbnb later this evening. - Going to a bar/club with Maxine, Meryll, and Ate Cha. I had to wake up early and, even though my spirits still weren't okay from last night, I need to get through this day and make the most out of it. I woke up early and got a good amount of sleep in the morning. Then I commuted to Manila to meet with Rachel. It's been months since we've last met and have known each other for years, I'm glad to actually see them and spend a good chunk of the day with them. We got to meet at around the United Nations MRT station and walked around the National Museum of Natural History. They described some rocks and other geology stuff because they were taking BS Geology and we had fun at the first museum. After going there, we both agreed that we were feeling hungry so we went to SM City Manila to have some late lunch (it was around 2:00 p.m. by then). I'm surprised that they... treated me to lunch. I've been a giver for a long time and I've rarely been treated out/appreciated properly, so it was such a really nice gesture that they offered to buy me food. We both finished our meals and then went back museum-hopping. We stopped by the National Museum of Fine Arts because their outfit was themed for the Spoliarium exhibit. We took a lot more photos in there, which they really liked. Then Rachel started having really bad cramps on their leg and they almost passed out from the pain. I called a security guard and then they had to go home. Thankfully, they seemed okay and got home safe because they got a ride home using Grab. After they got home, that was my cue for my next event for the day: my Airbnb stay and partying with Max, Meryll, and Ate Cha. I tried to move as quick as I can: booking a ride home immediately, preparing my stuff, and getting freshed up once again for the evening. It was a really tight time for me, but I think I moved as fast as I could. I got to the Airbnb and there they were! I was so happy to meet them and was excited for the night. Before partying, we all had dinner at this Persian restaurant along Poblacion and I gotta say, it was really good. The beef kebab is something I'm definitely ordering again in the future. We all had some small talk and then a few conversations about each's love lifes and then we finished dinner. We all got dressed and prepared, then headed out of the Airbnb to The Fun Roof in Poblacion. It was really fun there. We got a lot of alcoholic drinks and our table was good enough. We danced a lot throughout the entire evening and had some time talking amongst ourselves wherever possible. It was too loud inside, though. The music was blasting and we really couldn't hear each other talk clearly. Still, it was fun. We played some card game, got to drink out of a weird achohol ferris wheel drink stand, and got to dance to some songs. Nothing else noteworthy happened, aside from me slipping and almost injuring my ankle. We all returned to the Airbnb for a good night's rest, even though it was 4 a.m. in the following day and that wrapped up my exciting Saturday.

Song of the day: Booty Music - Album Version (Edited) by Git Fresh

Journal entry for Friday, October 20th, 2023

Fri, 20 Oct 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Bad

The day actually went through normally and, since it was a Friday, I was really happy about a lot of things. I looked forward to the weekend and I had to make it through 1 last workday. Today was pretty normal, as far as things are. But it's the evening that really made things bad. I got off work as usual and my evening proceeded as it normally would. I was in a call with my friends and we both started playing our usual game of The Forest. We both cleared up a lot of caves at this point and got the keycard we need to complete the final mission. They asked me if I wanted to clear the game tonight and we both agreed to go. But then they had to leave immediately and I decided to play Wangan Midnight at the arcade in BGC instead. I still wasn't okay. I just went home to watch a new episode of Loki Season 2. I didn't really feel that bad at the end, but I was just anxious and it pulled at a part of me which I'm trying to fix and grow from.

Song of the day: ハロ／ハワユ by Nanou

Journal entry for Thursday, October 19th, 2023

Thu, 19 Oct 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Good

My objective for today was to order take-out without my mom noticing. That's why I had to tell her to her face that I was gonna order orange chicken and she cooked it herself. Bless her heart. Aside from that secret mission, my day and morning started out normally. The day was an average workday to get through. With me watching a video about the behind the scenes issues that The Exorcist had and finally eating that take-out. I got "beijing beef" from Panda Express and it was pretty underwhelming, to be honest. I kinda regret getting that dish and hoped I picked something else. After watching the video and eating, I was playing The Forest with my friends again. We're both relieved that most of our items weren't lost, we didn't really die and just restarted from our last save point. We got to progress a lot and got to clear the cave we died in yesterday. It was overall a pretty fun gameplay and we even had time for Stardew Valley afterward. We got off call and then both continued with our usual stuff for the evening. I got to talk to my mom about things and had some time to kill by watching YT videos and catching up with friends.

Song of the day: Average Joe by Y-Not

Lyrics that resonated with me:
And I said, "Hey girl, why can't you just love me
I know I'm just your average Joe"
But if you take some time to get to know me
So what's your name, hi my name is Joe

Journal entry for Wednesday, October 18th, 2023

Wed, 18 Oct 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

Today was pretty much normal, fun day. Around evening, I got to play The Forest with my friends because they felt brave enough to explore the other areas of the map and especially the caves. We both ventured onto some random cave and found pretty cool stuff in it. We continued exploring and eventually got out. Killed a few monsters and then we went to cave #2. We got so lost in it and it was such a hard time navigating the map (there wasn't any in-game, I just followed a crude outline via the web). In the end, we both died and restarted from zero. They were pretty annoyed and we both called the game off after losing our progress. Thankfully, I know that we saved before dying so we didn't actually lose all our progress and we will be both fine. But regardless, it was a pretty fun game with them.

Song of the day: I've Never Been To Me by Charlene

Lyrics that resonated with me:
But I, I took the sweet life I never knew
I'd be bitter from the sweet

Journal entry for Tuesday, October 17th, 2023

Tue, 17 Oct 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

Nothing noteworthy happened today lol

Journal entry for Monday, October 16th, 2023

Mon, 16 Oct 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

Everything was just the normal, average Monday today. I got back on the things I have to do at work and play games with my friends. In the evening, I had a few rounds of Phasmophobia with my friends but they got hunted by a ghost—a revenant, the fastest ghost there is—and this made them ragequit really bad to the point of uninstalling. We also got to play Project Zomboid after trying to work out some of the kinks and bugs we had at the start of the game. After that, my mom and sister came home and I had to mediate both of them because they were both spiraling into overthinking. We got it resolved and that was pretty much it.

Welcome to the Eras Tour (Movie)

Sun, 15 Oct 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Good

I got to watch the Eras Tour movie with my friends today! They showed up with an... interesting outfit choice and I was intrigued. But it started well because not a single bad thing happened: no one was late, there were no ticket problems, no food problems. Things were pretty okay. We got to watch it and my friends sang to a lot of the songs in the film, too bad I missed out on most of the albums between 1989 and Midnights. We didn't linger around much after seeing the movie, although I wish we had. We had a fun day out and it was okay for me. I was able to talk to some of my friends after getting home. For some reason, I don't feel like I 100% enjoyed it or felt something special, or what. Something felt lacking even though, statistically, nothing was. It made me a bit gloomy in the evening but I didn't show anyone. I just played some games to get my mind off of it.

Song of the day: Jenny by The Click Five

Journal entry for Saturday, October 14th, 2023

Sat, 14 Oct 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Good

Today was the company's Leader's Appreciation Day and, as a team lead, I got invited in. I'm kinda sure I feel good enough to actually go out, so I did. I got to Romulo Cafe in Makati and some of my friends were there. Colleagues, friends, leaders from other departments. We got to play some games there and eat at a small buffet, which was pretty nice. It was a fun, small get-together for us workmates. Around evening, I got home and just watched Hell's Kitchen on my PC. It was a pretty fun evening, too. I realized that my ban from Omegle got lifted and I kinda spent 3 hours of my evening just listening to my friends rant to me about their life. I thought it was going to be like a mutual conversation, but it turned into a one-way trauma dump for 3 hours. NGL, I kinda regretted that and wished that I just watched Hell's Kitchen instead lol. But regardless, it was a pretty good day.

Song of the day: Black Magic by Little Mix

Lyrics that resonated with me:
For a spell that can't be broken
One drop should be enough

Journal entry for Friday, October 13th, 2023

Fri, 13 Oct 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

I'm slowly starting to feel better from being sick yesterday. My mom and sister were gonna go out for some province today so it'll just be me alone in the house for most of the day. I didn't really know what to do, but I just slept more for good measure. My day went on as it normally would when I'm alone. I got bored in the afternoon and decided that I deserved a RAM upgrade after going through a lot in the past 2 weeks, and that it's been 2 years overdue. So I ordered 32GB of RAM within the same day and I was able to install it onto my PC. It was really hard, it took me about an hour because I had to clean my PC and it was 15 kilograms, so it was pretty heavy for me to lift on my own. Thankfully, I got it to work on one try and I spent the remainder of my day just having fun on my PC, even redesigning the hero banner for my portfolio. And for most of the day, some piano song was stuck in my head.

Song of the day: Les premiers sourires de Vanessa by Richard Clayderman

Journal entry for Thursday, October 12th, 2023

Thu, 12 Oct 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Below Average

I'm physically sick. I thought I would get better after a full 8 hours of rest, but unfortunately I couldn't. I woke up with a hoarse voice and with my head still hurting. I didn't have the energy to do much today and it seems that I have a fever or so. I didn't do much today other than sleep. I tried to watch Gonjiam: Haunted Asylum with my sister in the living room, and took some medicine. That's pretty much it. I'll be taking a leave again tomorrow because I don't feel 100% well enough to go back to work.

Credit Card Closed

Wed, 11 Oct 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Below Average

I finally closed my credit card today! 🥳🎉 I'm glad that's over. Here's to financial freedom for me. While I was excited and happy that I was able to close my credit card today, my health slowly started to decline. I tried to read some Reddit posts about people being free from financial debt but I was worried. It's said that every Filipino family is 1 major illness away from financial ruin. Learning that thought scared me because my health is not particularly perfect. As the day progressed, my health really started to decline. I kept sneezing and blowing my nose. And at the end, I got this throbbing headache. I tried to feel better in the afternoon by eating sinigang and drinking the soup, but it wasn't working. I got to play The Forest with my friends again but it was only short. It was a fun day, regardless, but I felt really sick at the end. I was able to wake my friends up but I didn't accompany them for their night shift anymore because I had to rest.

Journal entry for Tuesday, October 10th, 2023

Tue, 10 Oct 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

Today was a good, fun day. It was like any other day and I had fun in call with my friends. In the afternoon, we played The Forest while watching the Big Bang Theory in the background. It was fun, we got to play a lot.

Song of the day: Good Parts (when the quality is bad but I am) by LE SSERAFIM

Credit Card Cleared

Mon, 09 Oct 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Special

I was *finally* able to get out of my credit card debt today 🎉 I paid off 100,000 Pesos in credit card debt in one fell swoop and I basically cleared everything on it. I called customer support and, annoyingly enough, I had a charge on my credit card that was worth 99 Pesos. Because of the pending charge, I wasn't able to fully close my account. This thing has been hanging over my head for more than a year now. I really hate that representative for calling me in October 2022 and for putting me on this path. Sure, it was honestly *my* fault that I got into that debt spiral, but I'm finally glad to have paid it off. Honestly, I'm not gonna use credit cards ever again, or at least not in the forseeable future. That was an **expensive** lesson and I'm glad to have that chapter of my life closed this year. It was a good day, too. I was able to play Stardew Valley with my friends in the evening and everything was okay.

Song of the day: The Best Day (Stolen Version) by Taylor Swift

Journal entry for Sunday, October 8th, 2023

Sun, 08 Oct 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Good

I'm very anxious for what'll happen today. I'll be having dinner with dad and some of his relatives, including his current wife and sons. I'm not sure what to feel about it aside from a general awkwardness, honestly. But I woke up and got to keep up with my friends to start the morning, and I got to talk with my family members here, too. Around before lunch, my friends messaged me to play Stardew Valley with them and I got to spend a lot of time in game with them. They were fun to talk to, it was the usual: just us telling each other things that's been going on with our lives. We also played The Forest and got back to killing the cannibals in the game, even though my save file was deleted. We both ended the game and play again after I was called to prepare to go out. Then I went with my sister and mom to the mall we were supposed to meet at, then mom shortly left to do their own thing at a different mall far away. It was just my sister and I meeting the other side of our family. We got to meet dad and his eldest son. I got to socialize with him for a bit and ask him about things. He looked pretty mature for a 13-year-old kid. Then we meet the other members of dad's family that we've grown apart from. Dinner was pretty nice, the buffet was great ~~and it's been a while since I've been to one~~. Or, wait, never mind, I've just been to one 2 weeks ago. But their selection of food was really **a lot**, honestly. I think I've mastered the art of the buffet and ate quite a lot that seemed really expensive. This was going on while my sister was trying to hold conversations with the other members of my family and even dad's current wife. I'm surprised because they seemed more extroverted than I am. The usual catching up also happens: conversations about life, love life, that one time I cosplayed as Emilia from Re:Zero, the usual stuff. For one time, I got to talk to my dad about moving to Australia. My stance still remains the same, I'm not going. His current plan still sucks, he wants me to live with his current family under his roof. After going through some major, traumatic shit in college about *the same thing* (living under a stranger's roof), I was having none of that shit. He kept assuring me that he won't leave me there, that he's my dad and that he's no stranger. But he is, though. He's an estranged father trying to make amends at this late stage in our lives. Regardless, I'm not going to uproot my life for some stranger. I have no safety net there. What if the same shit from the past happens and I get traumatized? In a foreign country, with no people to run to? Fuck that. I denied his request and I think he got pissed off a little. We didn't really reach a deal and that was that. My sister and I got to walk around after saying goodbyes and we talked about our experience. I'm lucky to have arrived home to mom and I was able to have my friends listen to me talk about how my day went, even though it seemed extremely weird. We got to play Stardew and talk as usual. It was nice, all things considered. This isn't the level of closeness my dad wants our family to be, but this is the most optimal, given the current situations. We could've been more hostile, but we're friendly and courteous at this level of distance. I think that's good enough. I'm settled on my plans for the future: stay here in the Philippines and build a life here. I'm going to write my own story. ### PS This week has been strange and kinda horrible, but I'm glad I had my friends stable throughout most of it. I'm still sad about the friends I lost and the pain of losing them, and my current song for the day really reflects that. I'm happy, though, for the people still there.

Song of the day: I Almost Do (Taylor’s Version) by Taylor Swift

Lyrics that resonated with me:
And I just wanna tell you
It takes everything in me not to call you
And I wish I could run to you
And I hope you know that every time I don't
I almost do

Wangan Racing

Sat, 07 Oct 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Excellent

Today was *finally* the day I've been waiting for: the day I go to the arcades and play Wangan Midnight! Nothing much happened during the start of the morning, I barely remember much happening aside from changing my decision to eat samgyupsal alone and instead eating the salmon my mom cooked. It was really nice, all things considered. They served several pieces of salmon. After eating, I was mostly done with things to do at home and then went on to the aracde in Bonifacio High Street. I finally got to play Wangan Midnight! It's been so long since I've played a proper game of it and I'm glad my Banapassport worked. I got to register my old "main" car: the Nissan Fairlady Z Version ST. I thought the story of Wangan Midnight 6 RR would be different but it's exactly the same story as the one I played at home. Playing for hours was really fun! But there was 1 time where I had to give away my seat to my friends because the arcade machine next to me was busted, and I saw people who really, really wanted to play the game. After that, it was mostly me playing the arcade and progressing through the story while playing songs from Spotify. There were some matches that I won against some people, but I often had to lose against some newbies and people just casually playing the arcade. I got to face off against this kid who mistakenly matched against me and he looked so happy when he won. There was also this other kid who had his dad watch behind him and apologized to me when I matched against him. Thankfully, for both kids, I let them win. I wanted them to have a fun, exciting game. Anyway, since I was already in BGC, I was able to **finally** try out the 8cuts burger restaurant since my friends said it was their favorite brand of burger. Honestly, I've had a lot of burgers in my time but the best definitely was 8cuts. I did some other stuff in the night and that pretty much summed up an excellent day for me.

Song of the day: ASAP by NewJeans

Journal entry for Friday, October 6th, 2023

Fri, 06 Oct 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

It was day 2 of me mostly being at home again today. Around morning, I was mostly busy with work and my deliverables. Meetings, updates, and DevOps things. The usual day-to-day with work. Mom and my sister arrived back home after the evening and, by then, I feel like I ate **a lot**, even though it was just bacon 🥓. But around evening, I mostly played an old game that I used to like a lot back then: *Thrillville: Off the Rails*. It was nice playing it on my PC and using the PS5 controller. For some parts of the evening, I was able to play Phasmophobia with my friends again, too. We lost a few games as usual, but won some and it was pretty fun. For some reason, I felt like I had a lot of time today. Like, *a lot of time*. This week has been incredibly weird. Also, I watched the 1st episode of Loki season 2. I loved it! I can't wait for the next episode airing next week.

Journal entry for Thursday, October 5th, 2023

Thu, 05 Oct 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

Mom and my sister were mostly out for the day, so it was just me being alone at our part of the house for today. I declined to give my friends breakfast, so I felt guilty and then I decided something. I decided to get Taylor Swift's "Midnights" album to my friends as a gift. We both like You're Losing Me, so I decided to get them the Late Night edition. I also decided to gift chocolates because why not. Around lunchtime, I got chocolates but I got home soaked from the pouring rain. Around evening, when they were going to get the chocolates. They were mostly anxious for that day, but they appreciated the gift regardless. I had nothing to do so I just watched some trashy reality show TV commentary on YouTube while eating Indian food. The food was really nice, but also very spicy.

Song of the day: Snoop Dogg by Young, Wild & Free (feat. Bruno Mars)

Mom Comes Home

Wed, 04 Oct 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Special

Mom came home today. It feels like it's been a while even though we only had their back last December. Things were pretty okay in the house. We had a lot of chocolates and stuff they brought back. We also had a lot of food today to celebrate. I also gave my hotel tickets to my mom and sister so they can enjoy a fun day tomorrow.

Song of the day: 'Til We Meet Again by aespa

It Started with the Big Bang

Tue, 03 Oct 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Good

I watched The Big Bang Theory with my friends today, it helped me go through most of the day. This was another pretty weird day for me, surprisingly. With my guy best friend calling me and then I had to talk to the girl he fumbled up things with. Work continued as normal but I decided that I can't rely on my father for helping me because he's been an absentee for this long and he has a horrible track record of only helping at his own terms. So I decided to take a loan from work. Here's to hoping that I can still help myself get through this. Around evening, I was able to play Stardew Valley with my friends again. Our farm was still in winter but we had progressed quite a lot in the game. I just slept the night off but thankfully enjoyed a pretty fun and lighthearted day.

What the Hell?

Mon, 02 Oct 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Special

What the hell? Today was pretty weird. My dad came back to our house after **years** of us seeing not him. My morning routine was nothing out of the ordinary. Around the afternoon was when things started to take a turn for the strange. I'm still sad about things, so I cried about it. I tried to hide it as best I can, but my friends definitely noticed. I eventually lied on my bed to cry and think about my past friends. Out of nowhere, I got a call from an unknown number and it turned out to be from my dad. He was waiting outside with a bunch of Krispy Kreme boxes. My sister and I hadn't seen him in years and it was pretty shocking to see him standing outside our house. It was the usual shtick with dad. He asked us about how life was and then asked us again to seriously move to Australia with him. My sister and I are honestly not buying it because he has a habit of helping us only on his own terms and conditions. His plan for us to move to Australia wasn't clear either. For a while, we entertained the idea, but both of us were really worried and scared at the opportunity he presented. I went back to working because the conversation wasn't really going to go anywhere. I told my friends what had happened and they were concerned but also surprised at how drama would unfold. I guess it's good that I was able to have a conversation with my friends about this. I was really confused and they offered a lot of sensible advice and things I can think of. When I said that I wanted the past to come back, I didn't mean *this* past. I wanted **my friends** back, not my dad.

Song of the day: Memories by Maroon 5

Give Me a Time Machine

Sun, 01 Oct 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Awful

Today seemed like an okay day, or at least it initially did. I also watched Mask Girl until the 4th episode. By the evening, I got to play Stardew Valley with my friends again, surprisingly. While I was thinking of that, I suddenly got reminded of Jaze, Angela, my past IMC friends, and even the RC. People I thought I had strong bonds with, people who I thought would stay in my life forever. To this day, I miss them. I miss my friends. I miss having a person I could always confide in. I just cried and I cried because 2023 has been **the worst** year of my life yet, way worse than the year I dropped out of college. I lost so many friends and experienced no growth at all. I'm stuck in my same position, and I'm stuck with my friends who can just leave at the drop of a hat. I miss having my friends I can feel safe with. My friends whose shoulders I can lean on and tell things to, without the fear of them making fun of me afterward or spreading my secrets to everyone, unlike my friends and some of my current friends. In my sadness, I went to the place Jaze and I often went to—the streets along Venice Grand Plaza. I cried so much there, it was the most I've cried in such a long time. I still miss my friends. I still regret everything. They say that you pick your own battles and I chose the wrong one. If I could go back to 2021 and reset everything, I would. A time before my life came crashing down in 2022. To a time where people wanted to hang out with me simply because I was myself. I almost had everything back then, and I thought that if I pursued 1 more thing, I would be complete. I didn't know that, if I went on this struggle, I would lose everything and gain nothing. Aaaaah, it hurts, it hurts. I just kept crying and crying while I was outside. I had to make it back by 11:45, which I did, but my feelings still lingered. I'm unfortunately here, and I've lost everything near and dear to me 2 years ago. I honestly don't know if I'll **ever** find people whom I can confide with on that deep of a level again. I genuinely hate my life and I want another shot at redemption so badly.

Song of the day: Time Machine by Girls' Generation

Lyrics that resonated with me:
It's over, guess it's over
...
One mistake, got a one regret
...
Gimme a time machine
Oh, gimme a time machine
Oh, gimme a time machine

Clean Drift

Sat, 30 Sep 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Good

I woke up today feeling good and that I got enough sleep over the night. I played some controller games and got back into racing games. In the afternoon, I had to clean my room while my sister was cleaning some parts of the house. Mom was coming home soon so I had to help in cleaning wherever I can. Cleaning felt like 5 hours but I was surprised that it took *less* than 3 hours. I didn't know I could clean that much in such a short amount of time. After cleaning up, I invited my sister and her boyfriend to play Tekken 7 with me and I got them to play Cuphead as well. It's fun to have 2 peripherals, I guess. I also formatted my SSD to remove the encryption on it as I thought it was slowing down my games. One thing I am happy today was that I got Wangan Midnight to run on Linux! **Finally** I have 1 less reason to use Windows. I think I have all of my favorite games running on Linux now and I'm proud to see how viable it is for gaming. It worked well and I was able to have fun on it and finished some parts of the story mode. I'm trying to learn how to use manual transmission in games. Shifting is very hard for me, I have to time it right and know when to shift up or down. I really hope I can buy that racing controller with a gear shift. All in all, today was pretty fun. I was able to have an enjoyable Saturday nonetheless.

Song of the day: With You by Oliver Tree

Journal entry for Friday, September 29th, 2023

Fri, 29 Sep 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

Today was pretty weird, I had some turbulent feelings unresolved from yesterday and I didn't really have anyone to share them with. I did my best to not let them show, but I was feeling very off today. I still got to play Phasmophobia with my friends. We won a few games, lost quite a lot, but it was still fun. I also got to talk with Kai, Max, Meryll, and Rachel today so I feel pretty fulfilled, social interaction-wise. I might go out with Max and Meryll next month to hang out and go bar-hopping, so that's something I'm looking forward to for October.

Song of the day: Le Festin by Michael Giacchino, Camille

Mon, 25 Sep 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Journal entry for Tuesday, September 19th, 2023

Tue, 19 Sep 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

Today was a pretty normal, okay Tuesday. I watched Ringu (1998) during lunchtime but didn't really finish the movie. After work, it was your usual: Phasmophobia with friends and a chill evening after that. Only, it wasn't *that* chill for me. I kept replaying a song from Taeyeon that I loved a lot in 2017. It's been 6 years, but the song still rings true. I feel a great amount of loneliness and it wasn't easy to go through and realize.

Song of the day: Lonely Night by Taeyeon

Lyrics that resonated with me:
I’m sick of lonely nights
I’m sick of lonely nights

2scary4me

Mon, 18 Sep 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Good

It was the start of a usual, normal week for me. In the afternoon, I watched Ju-on: The Grudge and it still terrified me. I'm a big fan of everything horror and occult, and have watched so many horror movies in 2021, but I'm still scared of Kayako from The Grudge. In the evening, I was too spooked and creeped out. Around evening, I played Phasmophobia with friends from work and after that I got to start on playing Need For Speed: Carbon. Overall it was a fun, frightening day.

Song of the day: Am I Dreaming (Metro Boomin & A$AP Rocky, Roisee) by Metro Boomin

Journal entry for Sunday, September 17th, 2023

Sun, 17 Sep 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Below Average

I tried to play other games with the controller.

Song of the day: Jamming by Bob Marley & The Wailers

An Amazing Spider-Day

Sat, 16 Sep 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Good

I got to finish playing Spider-Man Remastered on the PC! And I had fun re-watching Across the Spider-Verse (which I originally watched in theaters June 1). I also got to play some controller-only games like WipEout and SSX Tricky. Both were really fun and so was using the controller in general. Nothing else happened today, and I didn't talk to anyone else online either. Today was just a really quiet, peaceful day.

Journal entry for Friday, September 15th, 2023

Fri, 15 Sep 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

It's cool that I got my friends confiding in me. After that, it was a few fun rounds of Phasmo, with the last game leaving me and my friends left as the only survivors. It was a team effort but we managed to solve the ghost and got the biggest win we've ever had in that game. I'm glad, so today was pretty fun.

Song of the day: Hits Different by Taylor Swift

Lyrics that resonated with me:
Oh my, love is a lie
Shit my friends say to get me by
It hits different
It hits different this time

Controller Time

Thu, 14 Sep 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

I **finally** got my PS5 controller back after not having it for 2 months. Getting it back from warranty was a pain, but I'm glad to have it back and play those games again. Other than that, today was a normal, run-of-the-mill day.

Song of the day: As It Was by Harry Styles

Journal entry for Wednesday, September 13th, 2023

Wed, 13 Sep 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Journal entry for Thursday, September 7th, 2023

Thu, 07 Sep 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

Things were fairly-normal today.

Song of the day: Somebody To Love by Justin Bieber

Normal

Wed, 06 Sep 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Good

Today was a normal day. I talked to friends, watched scary videos, I got teased, played Phasmophobia with friends. Things today were fairly calm, boring, and familiar. I guess that's the beauty of it. I'm perfectly happy today and, after going through a temporary loss of it, I have deep adoration for how routine things are. And maybe, *just maybe* that's good enough. Maybe that's all I need for now. ### PS I tried ordering no-frills cookies and choco mallows and **it was a logistical nightmare**. I started ordering at 4:00 p.m. and finally got the cookies around 7:10 p.m.

Song of the day: Señorita by Camilla Cabello, Shawn Mendes

It’s Okay, Bro. We Win Late Game

Tue, 05 Sep 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

"Man, don't worry. It'll be okay, bro. We win late game," a voice kept reassuring me the entire day. I was still, you know, not okay and not at ease ever since yesterday. I kept *trying* (emphasis on "try") to be okay, although I couldn't really stop myself from turning into a wreck. I knew I was going to be okay, but the anxiety stems from me not knowing *how* I'll be okay. I kept looking at patterns and consulted my mood calendar. I thought my life had returned to its normal, boring everyday routine once again. For good, this time. But nope. I was wrong.

Song of the day: Paparazzi by Lady Gaga

Here, Once More, In...

Mon, 04 Sep 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Tue, 29 Aug 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Bad

Nothing noteworthy happened today lol

Song of the day: Like I'm Gonna Lose You by Meghan Trainor, John Legend

Lyrics that resonated with me:
I woke up in tears with you by my side
A breath of relief, and I realized
No, we're not promised tomorrow

Journal entry for Monday, August 28th, 2023

Mon, 28 Aug 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Below Average

Nothing noteworthy happened today lol

Song of the day: Like I'm Gonna Lose You by Meghan Trainor, John Legend

Journal entry for Sunday, August 27th, 2023

Sun, 27 Aug 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Bad

I had to reveal something that I didn't want to be revealed.

Song of the day: How Long Will I Love You by Jon Boden, Sam Sweeney, Ben Coleman

It's A Sports Thing!

Sat, 26 Aug 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Special

I was so worried for this day, I couldn't sleep properly. I had set several alarms to go off because I did not want to be late for the event and kind of ruin the whole thing. Thankfully, I woke up right on time and my alarms all worked. And in the morning, I got to meet up with my friends and a few colleagues for preparation. We stopped by McDonald's first, though, and I got to have my morning coffee with that whole new "cereal" syrup they were offering. I could feel how tense things are because I barely got enough sleep since last night. I was able to wear my Squid Game outfit, though, so I was felt a better about my outfit for the whole thing. As we were prepping, I forgot to cut the nametags for the people there the night prior so I scrambled to get the names cut and to set up the audio for the event. And then the event started. We had a pretty fun start by asking the people to gather in a circle and pass a ball around to each other. Since I was one of the organizers, I couldn't really participate in the game as I was busy with other matters. When the games started, the first game was up and it was my turn to explain the mechanics. Truthfully, I understood the game well enough to explain it, but there were certain "gotchas" that I couldn't understand, so I felt a bit nervous during the whole explanation bit. But the game proceeded and everyone seemed to have a fun time. I got to play for it as well! It was **super** exhausting. The other games proceeded fine with no issue, with me mostly helping out with setting up the equipment and facilitating some of the games. The tug of war game seemed super fun but I only got to hold the rope when I was setting up for the teams, not actually playing with it. Same for the 3rd game as well, I only got to watch and facilitate. One aspect that I am super happy about, however, was that I got to control the music playback of the whole event. All of the songs were managed by me and it was a pretty banger playlist. Once the event ended, I stayed back along with some of my fellow coordinators. I was with my friends and one other person, we got to talk as we made our way to the place where we would all have lunch. Lunch time with everyone in the company was pretty fun, we had a *boodle fight* thing going on and I got to eat a lot of crabs. It was oily as hell and I only had, like, 3 cups of water which didn't feel enough for me haha. After eating, we got to socialize for a bit more while the others were leaving. I got to catch up on some friends from the company until it was a few of us left. I purposely tried to stay behind so I can socialize with a few more friends and I played that [Chain Reaction mobile game](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.BuddyMattEnt.ChainReaction&hl=en&gl=US) with my friends and Nicole (and I won, btw). It was raining so hard so I just decided to book a taxi ride home even though it was expensive as hell. When I got home, I got that package that Kai delivered! The package was left out by the rain so it got soaked, but not that much. The package did have a lot of stuff, though. It's been a really, really long time since I've gotten gifts. It meant a lot and I got a letter from them, too. I honestly didn't know what I did to deserve a friend like Kai, but I'm glad I met them. In the evening, I just slept and joined my college friends in our batchmate's birthday. It was really nice to have caught up with friends from college as I fell off the map after dropping out. All in all, today was a very special and eventful day.

Song of the day: Better Things by aespa

Journal entry for Friday, August 25th, 2023

Fri, 25 Aug 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Below Average

I was so stressed out about trying to prepare for my company's sports event tomorrow. I'm nervous and excited at the same time, but it sucks having to do these last-minute preparation and changes.

Song of the day: Rain On Me (with Ariana Grande) by Lady Gaga, Ariana Grande

Journal entry for Thursday, August 24th, 2023

Thu, 24 Aug 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

It was your average, fun day: playing Phasmophobia with friends, enjoying my daily routine.

Song of the day: Rain On Me (with Ariana Grande) by Lady Gaga, Ariana Grande

Journal entry for Wednesday, August 23rd, 2023

Wed, 23 Aug 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

I got to watch Stephanie Soo once again and I got a lot of sleep in the evening.

Song of the day: Rain On Me (with Ariana Grande) by Lady Gaga, Ariana Grande

Journal entry for Tuesday, August 22nd, 2023

Tue, 22 Aug 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Good

Things were turbulent today, but for the most part, I was able to handle my own turbulence and this was actually the only good day with a lot of struggle in recent months. I like having deep conversations about things, even though I'm mostly on the "support" side of things.

Song of the day: Big Girls Don't Cry (Personal) by Fergie

Journal entry for Monday, August 21st, 2023

Mon, 21 Aug 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

The next day was nothing different, but started on a holiday. I had to worry about some things for Sportstival this weekend, but it was alright. I was able to handle it. I got to play Phasmophobia and it was a pretty fun, few rounds. The evening was fun as well.

Song of the day: Left and Right (feat. Jung Kook of BTS) by Charlie Puth, Jung Kook

Lyrics that resonated with me:
Memories follow me left and right
I can feel you over here, I can feel you over here
You take up every corner of my mind
(What you gon' do now?)

Journal entry for Sunday, August 20th, 2023

Sun, 20 Aug 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Good

I actually was able to meet up with my friends today. It was fun, I didn't think anything else of it. It was just another meetup with a friend. Time flew by, though. We met at 3:00 p.m. and said goodbye at 7:00 p.m. No way 4 hours just passed by just like that. In the evening, I played with my friends' cousin for Phasmophobia and it was fun.

Song of the day: ASAP by NewJeans

Lyrics that resonated with me:
There's this one more thing
I'll show you come with me
So much to do and lots to see

Just for a minute

Time Alone

Sat, 19 Aug 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

Wow, I actually spent most of the day alone. For the bulk of the day, I was truly alone. I'm not sure if this feeling is something I should get used to, but it was kind of a deafening silence. I just watched YouTube for a whole day. It was boring but I could still recall a time where my daily life was like this.

Song of the day: Better Things by aespa

Journal entry for Friday, August 18th, 2023

Fri, 18 Aug 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

Today was kinda weird. I'm mostly happy on one hand because Aespa got to release their new album and I got NewJeans photocards, but on the other, I'm kind of feeling apathetic towards everything today. It was weird, I felt unattached from everything. Still, I had fun, I played Phasmophobia with friends from work, and generally enjoyed this day.

Song of the day: Better Things by aespa

Journal entry for Thursday, August 17th, 2023

Thu, 17 Aug 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

We finished watching Pearl today. I got to tell my friends about that thing that happened last Sunday and they were so shocked and in disbelief. It wasn't that bad, honestly.

Song of the day: death bed (coffee for your head) by Powfu

Journal entry for Wednesday, August 16th, 2023

Wed, 16 Aug 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

We tried to watch Pearl today, but we couldn't finish it. It was okay, though. I changed my wallpaper. I'm starting to get more and more apathetic with things now. Maybe this is me having it all settle in like this.

Song of the day: Both of Us (feat. Taylor Swift) by B.o.B, Taylor Swift

Journal entry for Tuesday, August 15th, 2023

Tue, 15 Aug 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

I had fun playing some games of Phasmophobia with friends.

Beyond the Threshold

Mon, 14 Aug 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Excellent

Damn, I'm good. Still, I'm already here, beyond the threshold. I feel so weird about crossing it yesterday but I don't give a flying fuck now. Who cares. We're already here haha. In the evening, I got to call my best friend and it's been more than half a year since we last talked.

Song of the day: good 4 u by Olivia Rodrigo

Shell Shocked through the Threshold

Sun, 13 Aug 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Special

I am extremely shell shocked. I actually can't believe it. I can't believe it, I can't believe it, I can't believe it. I feel like I crossed a line that I shouldn't have, like I crossed my personal threshold. Why the fuck did I do that? There's no going back from this.

Song of the day: F*ck My Life by SEVENTEEN

Journal entry for Saturday, August 12th, 2023

Sat, 12 Aug 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Below Average

I spent most of my day sleeping. I don't even recall much of what happened this day.

Song of the day: Way Less Sad by AJR

Lyrics that resonated with me:
No, I ain't happy yet
But I'm way less sad

Journal entry for Friday, August 11th, 2023

Sat, 05 Aug 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Below Average

I played Valorant with Rachel, though, and it was pretty funny. I made one massive slip-up and we were both laughing. The day was fun, but I barely

Song of the day: Stand by Me by Seal

Journal entry for Friday, August 4th, 2023

Fri, 04 Aug 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Good

In the morning, I watched Where the Crawdads Sing with my friends and it was a really good movie. I'm not sure if this is a sign of me healing from the past, but I'm feeling less and less anxious.

Journal entry for Thursday, August 3rd, 2023

Thu, 03 Aug 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

I tried to get back on messaging some of my friends and reconnecting with others, and it was okay.

Song of the day: This Side of Paradise by Coyote Theory

Journal entry for Wednesday, August 2nd, 2023

Wed, 02 Aug 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

In the evening, I played Valorant with friends. The games were pretty hyped and we ended on a win, which actually completed the night.

Song of the day: thank u, next by Ariana Grande

Journal entry for Tuesday, August 1st, 2023

Tue, 01 Aug 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Below Average

In the morning, I was feeling really sick and dizzy. I almost couldn't get out of bed. It was like a truck had hit my head. Around evening, I felt a lot better especially after sleeping through most of the day.

Song of the day: SLOW DOWN by STAYC

Lyrics that resonated with me:
모든 건 변하듯 지금 네 맘
변할지 몰라 장담하지 마
너무나 빠른 시작
빨리 끝나게 돼 oh oh

Tue, 25 Jul 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Average

Nothing noteworthy happened today lol

Song of the day: Feel My Rhythm by Red Velvet

Journal entry for Monday, July 24th, 2023

Mon, 24 Jul 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

I was called an "expert" at something, it was flattering. Also, I got invited by Ange for my past company's Family Day event! I'm gonna see my old coworkers again, for the 2nd year in a row.

Song of the day: YEPPI YEPPI by aespa

Journal entry for Sunday, July 23rd, 2023

Sun, 23 Jul 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Below Average

I spent most of the day sleeping again. I feel like I'm worrying about a lot of things.

Song of the day: Way Less Sad by AJR

Lyrics that resonated with me:
You're so insane, you're so insane (ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah)
Shut up and just enjoy this feelin'

Don't you love it, don't you love it?
No, I ain't happy yet
But I'm way less sad

Journal entry for Saturday, July 22nd, 2023

Sat, 22 Jul 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

I spent half of the day sleeping and woke up at around noon. I was thinking of going outside today, but just spent the majority of the day watching stuff on YouTube.

Song of the day: Sugar by Flo Rida, Wynter

0% Sleep, 100% Fun

Fri, 21 Jul 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Special

My company organized a 'work together' thing today and I got to be in a shared co-working space with my friends from work! It was a really, really fun day with my coworkers once again. I am so sleepy for today, I stayed up until 4 a.m. in the morning I was lacking sleep all day. But in the end, I was able to get to meet my other coworkers, befriend them, play Phasmophobia for hours with them, and NewJeans finally released their album today. Today was really fun. I haven't felt this relieved and at ease in a long time. It feels surreal and the song I liked for today reflects that.

Song of the day: Cool With You by NewJeans

Lyrics that resonated with me:
(It feels)
Cool with you (너랑)
Cool with you (Gotta tell me now)
Cool with you (It's just)
Cool with you (Haha)

Journal entry for Thursday, July 20th, 2023

Thu, 20 Jul 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

I decided to get verified on IG today lol. I dunno why I decided to, but it is what it is. I decided to watch the Barbie movie. It was a good day.

Song of the day: Spicy by aespa

Lyrics that resonated with me:
You want my A to the Z, but you won't, 어림없지
맞혀봐 sweet, 또는 freak, what's hiding underneath? (I see)

moving on like it's a corny Y2K movie

Wed, 19 Jul 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Good

I updated one of my corny playlists, aptly titled, "moving on like it's a corny Y2K movie" and found a lot of fun songs for it. Now, I'm not moving on or anything, but this is definitely one of the playlists to play on a good day or something. I also felt like I did a lot of work today, despite feeling a bit limited with the Mac. I also got to talk to a lot of friends today, so that's nice.

Song of the day: Twist And Shout by The Beatles

Lyrics that resonated with me:
Well, shake it up, baby, now (Shake it up, baby)
Twist and shout (Twist and shout)
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, baby, now (Come on, baby)
Come on and work it on out (Work it on out)

Mac Time

Tue, 18 Jul 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

I'm going to use my Mac as my main computer for a week. I've had this MacBook for a long time but never really used it that much at home because I have my own PC. I only use this when I'm outside, or at a Starbucks. Setting it up was such a pain, but I had a good day. I had a lot of things to be happy about.

Song of the day: Heart Shaker by TWICE

Journal entry for Monday, July 17th, 2023

Mon, 17 Jul 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Below Average

I guess I really am holding on tight, and the song I subconsciously played the most today reflected that.

Song of the day: Hold On Tight by aespa

Lyrics that resonated with me:
Baby, you and me are a twisted fantasy
Bodies running on a dream, up all night

Wired differently, a chaotic energy
Buckle up and take a seat, hold on tight

And Take A Shot of Hennessy

Sun, 16 Jul 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Below Average

I spent most of the day alone, surprisingly. Just doing my free time stuff. The bulk of my day was just spent on watching YouTube, but hey, I found some pretty cool songs.

Song of the day: World's Smallest Violin by AJR

Lyrics that resonated with me:
Like finishing this melody
This feels like a necessity

So this could be the death of me
Or maybe just a better me

Now, come in with the timpanis
And take a shot of Hennessy
I know I'm not there mentally
But you could be the remedy
So let me play my violin for you

That Was Close

Sat, 15 Jul 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

They like the gift! I also got that massage today.

Song of the day: Wavin' Flag (Celebration Mix) by K'NAAN

Lyrics that resonated with me:
When I get older I will be stronger
They'll call me freedom just like a wavin' flag

Journal entry for Friday, July 14th, 2023

Fri, 14 Jul 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Below Average

I also had to give my friends that gift I've been preparing.

Journal entry for Thursday, July 13th, 2023

Thu, 13 Jul 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

I had a busy day at work. I feel pressured to have to take on so many new things at once and I have to burn off time in the evenings just to learn new things. But we got to play The Forest as work was ending and then I passed out.

Song of the day: Superman (Taylor's Version) by Taylor Swift

Journal entry for Wednesday, July 12th, 2023

Wed, 12 Jul 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

I organized stuff for Sportstival next month.

Song of the day: Black Magic by Little Mix

Journal entry for Tuesday, July 11th, 2023

Tue, 11 Jul 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

I'm surprised I did a lot of tasks and things today, all in the span of a day. I'm surprised.

Song of the day: I Can See You (Taylor's Version) (From The Vault) by Taylor Swift

Journal entry for Monday, July 10th, 2023

Mon, 10 Jul 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Good

Monday isn't that hard and the start of the week was good, all things considered. So I'm counting this as a good day. I got to watch Derry Girls again.

Song of the day: Super Shy by NewJeans

Journal entry for Sunday, July 9th, 2023

Sun, 09 Jul 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Below Average

I wasn't feeling okay for most of the day. I met more temporary people and I knew it wouldn't last. I was already feeling unwell, but the evening turned things around.

Song of the day: You'll Be Back by Jonathan Groff

Lyrics that resonated with me:
Oceans rise, empires fall
We have seen each other through it all

I've Been...

Sat, 08 Jul 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Average

Today wasn't really anything of note. I was able to open up about how I'm actually doing, and it was an "okay" experience. I got to return my controller today and fix that issue with my Macbook. In the evening, I was able to ponder about my current experience, that I'm falling, and I found the perfect song for this chapter of my life.

Song of the day: Sleeping On My Dreams by Jacob Collier

Lyrics that resonated with me:
'Cause I've been sleeping on my dreams, ah
And I can't remember what I mean to you

And They Said, "Speak Now"

Fri, 07 Jul 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Good

Taylor Swift released her new version of Speak Now today!!!! I'm actually so happy! This is my favorite album from hers and this day was just really good. I tried to book a ticket to their concert in Singapore, but I unfortunately got a late spot in the queue to buy a ticket. I had so much fun today trying to book a ticket with my friends, talking to friends about Taylor Swift, playing The Forest with my friends and migrating to a new base.

Song of the day: The Story Of Us (Taylor's Version) by Taylor Swift

Journal entry for Thursday, July 6th, 2023

Thu, 06 Jul 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

I really did make a mistake last night about overthinking about the wrong things. I apologized and things returned to their usual state. The status quo, the usual. I had fun today, regardless. and played The Forest.

Song of the day: The Power (feat. Dizzee Rascal) - Radio Edit by DJ Fresh

Keeping Tally

Wed, 05 Jul 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Bad

The day actually went on as average. It's the evening that hit me. I don't know why I'm keeping tally and I thought I was right. I had to handle myself going through a quick breakdown. I calmed myself down enough to consider that I may have been in the wrong. I was able to steer myself out of it, but damn, I should take care of my mental health better.

Song of the day: Tally by BLACKPINK

Journal entry for Tuesday, July 4th, 2023

Tue, 04 Jul 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Excellent

Surprisingly, I felt very productive today at work because I got a lot of tasks done. I also played The Forest and had a fun round of Phasmo again. I also watched Derry Girls and other stuff. I operated on very little sleep today, but I somehow managed to get through things. I got to talk to a lot of my friends today as well, and got to send a few fun emails. Today was actually an excellent day, surprisingly.

Song of the day: Savage Love (Laxed - Siren Beat) [BTS Remix] by BTS, Jason Derulo, Jawsh 685

Journal entry for Monday, July 3rd, 2023

Mon, 03 Jul 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

I started watching Derry Girls on Netflix today and played Phasmophobia with a friend. We got hunted by the ghost and it was kinda scary. In the evening, I met someone new and my guy best friend (finally) reached out to me after months. I was kind of disappointed with myself when I updated him about how things have been. I wish things were better, but I'm happy enough as-is.

Song of the day: Everything Has Changed (feat. Ed Sheeran) (Taylor’s Version) by Taylor Swift

Journal entry for Sunday, July 2nd, 2023

Sun, 02 Jul 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

I played The Forest. I also went out and gave those keyboard switches.

Song of the day: Salty & Sweet by aespa

Journal entry for Saturday, July 1st, 2023

Sat, 01 Jul 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Good

I had fun playing the new Spider-Man game today, I finished around 1/3 of the campaign already.

Song of the day: つけまつける by kyary pamyu pamyu

Journal entry for Friday, June 30th, 2023

Fri, 30 Jun 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Good

I had a lot of fun and it was the Steam Summer Sale, so I got to buy a few games like Spider-Man Remastered on the PC. It was super fun to play and I also played other games like Monopoly and Cuphead.

Song of the day: Centerfold by The J. Geils Band

Journal entry for Thursday, June 29th, 2023

Thu, 29 Jun 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Good

Today was a pretty good day. In the evening, I asked my little sister to go out with me at this Korean BBQ restaurant that I frequent. We had a lot of fun and hoped that Aespa would show up on the MVs playing on the TV. Only on the ride home did Aespa's "Welcome To MY World" play and it shocked us both when it played.

Song of the day: Welcome To MY World (feat. nævis) by aespa

Journal entry for Wednesday, June 28th, 2023

Wed, 28 Jun 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

I actually forgot that today was a holiday but I just spent the entire day playing games, having fun with Monopoly.

Song of the day: Say You Won't Let Go by James Arthur

Journal entry for Tuesday, June 27th, 2023

Tue, 27 Jun 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Good

Honestly, I'm surprised I had to go out today for some in-person work meeting in QC. I met the other member of our team and our project lead. I had a fun day out! I also got to reconnect with an old friend.

Journal entry for Monday, June 26th, 2023

Mon, 26 Jun 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

Start of the week and everything felt normal and familiar.

Song of the day: Queencard by (G)I-DLE

Journal entry for Sunday, June 25th, 2023

Sun, 25 Jun 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Average

Nothing noteworthy happened today lol

Song of the day: Marahani by Alamat

It’s a Date, A Double Date!

Sat, 24 Jun 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Special

I was pulled by Nathan and their girlfriend into a double date. As much as I wanted to, the date didn't actually turn out okay. It felt like I wasn't being myself and I kept getting pressured to be my friends I'm not. I didn't feel genuine, I felt the most fake I could ever be. It was also unfortunate that my date wasn't that cool either, they really triggered my pet peeve. Most of the time, they just kept scrolling on their phone and were just absorbed in their feed, while I did my best to keep my phone in my pocket and be in the moment. This is my first actual date, but I've hung out with a lot of friends and my hangouts were way better. It speaks volumes, honestly. I tried to have fun and my date was nice at the end, they bought me some coffee and they were nice when I was talking to their. But I'm not really going to push through with them, we couldn't find common ground and it wasn't that much of a good day.

Song of the day: Queencard by (G)I-DLE

Journal entry for Friday, June 23rd, 2023

Fri, 23 Jun 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Below Average

I got to call the friends I haven't talked to in a long time.

Song of the day: Centerfold by The J. Geils Band

Journal entry for Thursday, June 22nd, 2023

Thu, 22 Jun 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

My mood from the morning was pretty upbeat.

Song of the day: Frankenstein by Claire Rosinkranz

Journal entry for Wednesday, June 21st, 2023

Wed, 21 Jun 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Good

I'm glad.

Song of the day: lowkey by NIKI

Journal entry for Tuesday, June 20th, 2023

Tue, 20 Jun 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Bad

I need to keep working out. This isn't enough.

Song of the day: F*ck My Life by SEVENTEEN

If You Could See Me, Whoever I Am

Mon, 19 Jun 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Below Average

I really need to start to fight for my life or smth. I don't really feel great about my current position at the moment. I'm going to try to do some things that'll hopefully change my outlook and position eventually.

Song of the day: Walking The Dog by fun.

Journal entry for Sunday, June 18th, 2023

Sun, 18 Jun 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Average

Nothing noteworthy happened today lol

Journal entry for Saturday, June 17th, 2023

Sat, 17 Jun 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Good

I'm actually surprised I got to play a lot of games today. In the morning, we played Stardew Valley and then It Takes Two, then in the afternoon we played Phasmophobia with their cousin, and then Hogwarts Legacy in the evening. They had time in the evening so we played Stardew Valley again to cap the day off. I also ate good food, so that was a big boost for my mood. Really tied in a really good Saturday: just quality time, rest, good food, and gaming.

Song of the day: Thriller by Michael Jackson

Journal entry for Friday, June 16th, 2023

Fri, 16 Jun 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

I was able to play a lot of controller-only games with my new controller. My time alone was fun. I wanted to go with my friends for a vacation out of town during the weekend, but I couldn't go. That's okay, I'll try to make the most out of my weekend.

Song of the day: Cupid by FIFTY FIFTY

Journal entry for Thursday, June 15th, 2023

Thu, 15 Jun 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

Things were okay today. I was busy with work and I felt like I accomplished a lot of my tasks. We also completed the Community Center in Stardew today! My friends also showed me AI covers of Girls' Generation.

Song of the day: Cupid – Twin Ver. (FIFTY FIFTY) – Sped Up Version by sped up 8282

In All Rightful Places

Wed, 14 Jun 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Below Average

Things just returned to their rightful place again. The status quo remains and the usual day-to-day was back.

Song of the day: All Too Well (10 Minute Version) (Taylor's Version) (From The Vault) by Taylor Swift

Journal entry for Tuesday, June 13th, 2023

Tue, 13 Jun 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Below Average

I'm just tired and exhausted right now. Things aren't okay now, and I doubt they would be for some time.

Song of the day: Sucker by Jonas Brothers

Time Controller

Mon, 12 Jun 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Good

I decided to get a controller today after deciding I've worked enough for the features on this website. I had enough time in the afternoon to go out and buy a PS5 controller and had a lot of fun setting it up and playing the PS2 and PS3 games that I love. I also got to stay up late with my friends and watch In Time with them.

Song of the day: The Sweetest Pie by Megan Thee Stallion, Dua Lipa

Journal entry for Sunday, June 11th, 2023

Sun, 11 Jun 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Below Average

I launched a new feature for my website that I'm excited about. Still, I kind of wasted half of my day by staying up late and waking up at 1 p.m.

Song of the day: La Vie en Rose by IZ*ONE

Who You Gonna Call?

Sat, 10 Jun 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Good

I also started work (and completed) that *actual* dynamic theming for my website. I also ate good food today, which is always nice.

Song of the day: London Boy by Taylor Swift

Journal entry for Friday, June 9th, 2023

Fri, 09 Jun 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

I have made the decision to fight for my life today. I really should do better, and I'm gonna.

Song of the day: F*ck My Life by SEVENTEEN

Journal entry for Thursday, June 8th, 2023

Thu, 08 Jun 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

Nothing noteworthy happened today lol

Song of the day: Boy's a liar Pt. 2 by PinkPanthress, Ice Spice

Journal entry for Wednesday, June 7th, 2023

Wed, 07 Jun 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

I'm trying to get better at playing Phasmo. I talked to other people as well today, including Kai. My time alone after work was fun.

Song of the day: UNFORGIVEN by LE SSERAFIM

Journal entry for Tuesday, June 6th, 2023

Tue, 06 Jun 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

It was an okay day, I felt overly-busy at work and I passed out after playing Phasmo.

Song of the day: Shalala Lala by Vengaboys

A Litany Against Fear

Mon, 05 Jun 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

Nothing noteworthy happened today lol

Tue, 23 May 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

Nothing noteworthy happened today lol

Song of the day: 热爱105°C的你 by A Si

Tue, 16 May 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Below Average

I felt very disconnected from everything today, idk why. I got a lot of stuff done but things just felt empty and far away.

Journal entry for Monday, May 15th, 2023

Mon, 15 May 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

I spent most of the day playing a lot of Stardew Valley!

Journal entry for Sunday, May 14th, 2023

Sun, 14 May 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Below Average

This was my one and only weekend for the week and I didn't feel rested enough. I ate good food and played a lot of PC games. But I just didn't feel well-rested enough.

Song of the day: I Really Want to Stay at Your House by Rosa Walton, Hallie Coggins

Staying Afloat

Sat, 13 May 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Bad

I did a lot of stuff this week! I had to work as well today, on a Saturday. I worked from 9 a.m. in the morning until 9 p.m. in the evening. I finished a lot of work today and I played Stardew after.

Song of the day: BUBIBU by Apink

Journal entry for Friday, May 12th, 2023

Fri, 12 May 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Average

I had a lot of free time in the evening today and I played a fun game of Scrabble with my friends. I lost Scrabble.

Song of the day: Flash Forward by LE SSERAFIM

Wed, 03 May 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

I got my passport and a lot of stuff done today.

Journal entry for Tuesday, May 2nd, 2023

Tue, 02 May 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Bad

The only thing that really made this day okay was that Le Sserafim released a new album and a lot of MVs.

Song of the day: Flash Forward by LE SSERAFIM

Journal entry for Monday, May 1st, 2023

Mon, 01 May 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Below Average

I had this weird feeling that things are going to end someday.

Song of the day: Like I'm Gonna Lose You by Meghan Trainor, John Legend

Journal entry for Sunday, April 30th, 2023

Sun, 30 Apr 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Average

Nothing noteworthy happened today lol

Gateway Shenanigans

Sat, 29 Apr 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Journal entry for Sunday, April 23rd, 2023

Sun, 23 Apr 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

I got my SIM cards registered and I didn't feel okay, so I had to get a haircut outside. Getting a new haircut was okay. I watched The Handmaid's Tale and then called Kai. I was only going to call them for a bit but they were fun to talk to so the call extended for hours.

Journal entry for Saturday, April 22nd, 2023

Thu, 13 Apr 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

They were leaning into their old favorite boy group again, VIXX, and they're so happy and sad about them. I'm trying my best to keep them company during these times and I hope I'm doing well. I also told them something and I'm surprised they were okay with it.

Journal entry for Wednesday, April 12th, 2023

Wed, 12 Apr 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

We all got doughnuts for lunch and ate together while watching Gravity Falls. They introduced me to AKMU and spent the day watching K-Pop videos.

Calling!

Tue, 11 Apr 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Excellent

Call was fun today and I realized how fun it was just to spend time with them.

Song of the day: Paper Rings by Taylor Swift

Journal entry for Monday, April 10th, 2023

Mon, 10 Apr 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

Things were a fairly-normal day.

Finally Finished a Show

Sun, 09 Apr 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Special

My friends and I finally finished an anime series today! It was so fun.

Song of the day: OMG by NewJeans

Journal entry for Saturday, April 8th, 2023

Sat, 08 Apr 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Below Average

Resolving our conflict from last night was okay.

Journal entry for Friday, April 7th, 2023

Fri, 07 Apr 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Bad

Nothing noteworthy happened today lol

Song of the day: Am I Wrong by Nico & Vinz

Journal entry for Thursday, April 6th, 2023

Thu, 06 Apr 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Below Average

I think I know what to do now.

Journal entry for Wednesday, April 5th, 2023

Wed, 05 Apr 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Below Average

I had an okay-enough day. But still, things were in shambles.

Song of the day: You Can Call Me Al by Paul Simon

Journal entry for Tuesday, April 4th, 2023

Tue, 04 Apr 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Bad

I met someone new and they're kinda cool. I was supposed to take a nap, but I couldn't. I'm not sure what to do now.

Journal entry for Monday, April 3rd, 2023

Mon, 03 Apr 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Awful

Maybe bringing my "A game" would be enough to tackle all of my problems. But no.

Journal entry for Sunday, April 2nd, 2023

Sun, 02 Apr 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Bad

I met with my friends today. We had an "okay" day out, but it didn't live up to my expectations.

Song of the day: Cupid – Twin Ver. (FIFTY FIFTY) – Sped Up Version by sped up 8282

Journal entry for Saturday, April 1st, 2023

Sat, 01 Apr 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

It was a mostly-normal Saturday. We had a small argument, but things turned out okay. I was able to open up about a really major secret to them. Things were okay, thankfully.

Song of the day: Cupid - Twin Ver. by FIFTY FIFTY

Journal entry for Friday, March 31st, 2023

Fri, 31 Mar 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Song of the day: The Story Of Us by Taylor Swift

Collapse

Thu, 09 Mar 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Awful

I knew it, to be honest.

Journal entry for Wednesday, March 8th, 2023

Wed, 08 Mar 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

My friends prepared a budget plan for me today! It's cute that they put in the effort to help me out with my finances. We played some mini games in the evening and it was overall a pretty fun day. And I finally fixed the thing I've been stuck with at work for the past month!

Journal entry for Tuesday, March 7th, 2023

Tue, 07 Mar 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Below Average

Something felt lacking, and off. Kinda weird.

Journal entry for Monday, March 6th, 2023

Mon, 06 Mar 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Good

I watched Friends today. It was fun.

Journal entry for Sunday, March 5th, 2023

Sun, 05 Mar 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

I felt like I got a lot of stuff done today. I cleaned my room and did a lot of stuff.

Journal entry for Saturday, March 4th, 2023

Sat, 04 Mar 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Good

That was a fun video call ngl.

We (Ee!) Are Getting Back Together

Fri, 03 Mar 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Good

My friends and I called in the morning, so we got space.

Song of the day: We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together (Taylor's Version) by Taylor Swift

Journal entry for Thursday, March 2nd, 2023

Thu, 02 Mar 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Below Average

I don't know what to do or how this will work out.

Journal entry for Wednesday, March 1st, 2023

Wed, 01 Mar 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Bad

It was another day spending it alone. Even though we lightly talked in the evening, we parted ways shortly thereafter.

Journal entry for Tuesday, February 28th, 2023

Tue, 28 Feb 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Below Average

We lightly talked and parted ways after having been together. It was lonely getting home. The day was so nice, the sun was out, and I would have loved to spend the rest of the day talking to my friends about it. It just sucks. I'm glad I had friends with me that made it a 1,000 times better.

Song of the day: OMG by NewJeans

Journal entry for Monday, February 27th, 2023

Mon, 27 Feb 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Awful

We haven't talked since Friday. My friends were there for me, and so did the other people who knew my situation, so I'm thankful for them. Still, it hurts, it hurts, it feels like a blade was directly running through my heart.

Journal entry for Sunday, February 26th, 2023

Sun, 26 Feb 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Below Average

Being alone hits deep. Dang.

Journal entry for Saturday, February 25th, 2023

Sat, 25 Feb 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Bad

Being alone feels bittersweet. On one side, I had a lot of weight shed off of my shoulders. But on one hand, I miss them so much and it's honestly kind of lonely without them.

Song of the day: Come A Little Bit Closer by Jay & The Americans

Case Closed

Fri, 24 Feb 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Awful

I am sick of this. I'm just done. I'm leaving it at that.

Journal entry for Thursday, February 23rd, 2023

Thu, 23 Feb 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

It was a long day again but I had fun.

Journal entry for Wednesday, February 22nd, 2023

Wed, 22 Feb 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Good

We just played Sims in the evening. This whole day was such a blast, I swear.

Journal entry for Tuesday, February 21st, 2023

Tue, 21 Feb 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Good

My friends and I played It Takes Two! We all had a fun day playing it together.

Song of the day: Paralyzed by Big Time Rush

Journal entry for Monday, February 20th, 2023

Mon, 20 Feb 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Good

Nothing noteworthy happened today lol

Journal entry for Sunday, February 19th, 2023

Sun, 19 Feb 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Average

Nothing noteworthy happened today lol

Elaine and the Magic Forest

Sat, 18 Feb 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Excellent

I bought a Nintendo Switch today! Also, I met up with my big sister Elaine after YEARS. We took photos at this cool place in Quezon City. It had several cool rooms and a live performance at the end.

Journal entry for Friday, February 17th, 2023

Fri, 17 Feb 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Average

Nothing noteworthy happened today lol

Song of the day: STAY (with Justin Bieber) by The Kid LAROI, Justin Bieber

Journal entry for Thursday, February 16th, 2023

Thu, 16 Feb 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

I watched Quantumania in theaters today!

Journal entry for Wednesday, February 15th, 2023

Wed, 15 Feb 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

Nothing noteworthy happened today lol

Song of the day: The Sweetest Pie by Megan Thee Stallion, Dua Lipa

Valentine's Day!

Tue, 14 Feb 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Excellent

It was Valentine's Day! I gave my friends chocolates.

Town Hall's Last Day Together

Mon, 13 Feb 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Average

I'm still shaken by what happened yesterday, so I just tried to sleep it off. Our friend group had one last call today and things ended after today.

Outside, Open Communication

Sun, 12 Feb 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Excellent

We went out again today! It was a really hard day to go through. We had some arguments and some issues, but we had fun outside. We took lots of photos outside, too. This was a real test of our communication skills.

Song of the day: La Vie en Rose by IZ*ONE

Journal entry for Saturday, February 11th, 2023

Sat, 11 Feb 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Sun, 05 Feb 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Awful

Said a final goodbye to ex-best friends this day. Oh well. It was a waste of time, but whatever. Neither of them really treasured our memories as much as I did and we all ended on horrible terms. One of them was really hostile towards me and acted like such a hypocrite. I can't believe I spent that much time on them for nothing.

Song of the day: It's Been a Long, Long Time by Kitty Kallen

Our First Hangout Together

Sat, 04 Feb 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Excellent

It was the first time since we actually went out and did stuff together. Even though we waited more than an hour for food, we had fun eating. We got to make perfume after and had a lot of fun just talking in the car rides.

Song of the day: Whole Life Story by Passion Pit

Journal entry for Friday, February 3rd, 2023

Fri, 03 Feb 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Good

We had a fun call today. I openly joked about the hard topics discussed from yesterday.

Song of the day: MOONLIGHT SUNRISE by TWICE

Communication Is Key

Thu, 02 Feb 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Special

I told them everything I can today. I sent them 2 letters about everything I felt and how my situation is like. And... talking worked????

Song of the day: If You Love Me (Really Love Me) by Brenda Lee

Journal entry for Wednesday, February 1st, 2023

Wed, 01 Feb 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Awful

It was just me stewing in my thoughts. I had 4 people leave me in January. It's still sad. My friends tried to cheer me up today, and another friend got me milk tea, but I was still generally gloomy.

Journal entry for Tuesday, January 31st, 2023

Tue, 31 Jan 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

Nothing noteworthy happened today lol

Song of the day: An Art Gallery Could Never Be As Unique As You by MRLD

Journal entry for Monday, January 30th, 2023

Mon, 30 Jan 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Good

Nothing noteworthy happened today lol

Journal entry for Sunday, January 29th, 2023

Sun, 29 Jan 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Bad

I've just realized that I was staying with the wrong person all this time. I wrote about it.

Song of the day: I Love You So by The Walters

Journal entry for Saturday, January 28th, 2023

Sat, 28 Jan 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Awful

Something feels off, super off.

Journal entry for Friday, January 27th, 2023

Fri, 27 Jan 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

Nothing noteworthy happened today lol

Beginning of the End ..?

Fri, 20 Jan 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Bad

Nothing noteworthy happened today lol

Song of the day: See Tình (Speed Up Version) by Hoàng Thùy Linh

Journal entry for Thursday, January 19th, 2023

Thu, 19 Jan 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

Nothing noteworthy happened today lol

Journal entry for Wednesday, January 18th, 2023

Wed, 18 Jan 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Below Average

Had several arguments today.

Journal entry for Tuesday, January 17th, 2023

Tue, 17 Jan 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Good

Nothing noteworthy happened today lol

Journal entry for Monday, January 16th, 2023

Mon, 16 Jan 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Good

I was on call for most of the day and played Stardew Valley.

Song of the day: Girls by aespa

Here, In...

Sun, 15 Jan 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Awful

Pains from yesterday and yesteryear proved too much for me.

Song of the day: Regent's Park by Bruno Major

Journal entry for Saturday, January 14th, 2023

Sat, 14 Jan 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Good

I was added to the "Close Friends" list on IG by a friend!!! Also, I was on call with a few friends today, friends who I haven't talked to in a while. I had an extreme bout of anxiety when I remembered Feb 12, 2022, but I was able to channel it by redesigning the popup modal for this calendar.

Song of the day: OMG by NewJeans

Journal entry for Friday, January 13th, 2023

Fri, 13 Jan 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

I seem to have done a good job with my tasks. I talked to a lot of my friends online today.

Journal entry for Thursday, January 12th, 2023

Thu, 12 Jan 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Average

Ate KFC and watched a few things like Back to the Future 2, Click, Single's Inferno S2, and Interstellar. Had a tough time trying to regulate my thoughts and feelings, but pushed through with no hitches.

Song of the day: Life's Too Short by aespa

Journal entry for Wednesday, January 11th, 2023

Wed, 11 Jan 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Average

Got through so many hard tasks. Stressed out at writing SQL queries. Something felt off today but I can't explain what. I watched Back to the Future, though.

Song of the day: Sour Grapes by LE SSERAFIM

Journal entry for Tuesday, January 10th, 2023

Tue, 10 Jan 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Excellent

Nothing noteworthy happened today lol

Song of the day: WEE WOO by PRISTIN

Journal entry for Monday, January 9th, 2023

Mon, 09 Jan 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

Nothing noteworthy happened today lol

Song of the day: Antifragile by LE SSERAFIM

First Friends Outing Day

Sun, 08 Jan 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Excellent

Had some fun alone time, teasing each other and making jokes. Watched movies with 1 group of friends, spent the evening with another group of friends. Said goodbye to my best friend and met their family again after years.

Journal entry for Saturday, January 7th, 2023

Sat, 07 Jan 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Below Average

Met up with friends at BGC and had some ramen. This would be my second-to-the-last time I would see my best friend before he leaves for the military. I was still in pain/shock from the day prior.

Journal entry for Friday, January 6th, 2023

Fri, 06 Jan 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Bad

I went out with friends and then I got scolded by somebody. Since I was with friends, I drank a lot with them.

Journal entry for Thursday, January 5th, 2023

Thu, 05 Jan 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Good

I finally watched New Jeans' new music video! It was the song to loop ever since I first heard of it. I didn't really have a lot of stress at work and I had fun with my friends on Discord (town hall).

Song of the day: OMG by NewJeans

Journal entry for Wednesday, January 4th, 2023

Wed, 04 Jan 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Average

Nothing noteworthy happened today lol

Journal entry for Tuesday, January 3rd, 2023

Tue, 03 Jan 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Bad

Had a fight with a close, special person. They had a bad day, too, so that kind of snowballed onto me. We were okay within the same night, though.

Song of the day: WEE WOO by PRISTIN

Journal entry for Monday, January 2nd, 2023

Mon, 02 Jan 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Above Average

Nothing noteworthy happened today lol

New Year's Day

Sun, 01 Jan 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Mood: Excellent

Prepared a gift idea. Had some time alone in a park to think about things and last year. Claimed Starbucks cold cup from sticker set.

Song of the day: Ditto by NewJeans