Dec 30, 2023

I was anxious for most of the day, and I know why but I can't say why. At least not here. But for most of the day, I was anxious and I felt pressured. It culminated in the afternoon by me being disappointed at an outcome.

I felt extreme pressure after that, but instead of going ballistic, I was able to channel all that anxiety and pressure into something else. I made a real effort to clean parts of the house today. I looked at old screenshots for a bit and I read a passage from something I used to read back in 2019.

Whatever. I'm not against being alone, anyway. It was like this last year. I'll be going through this year just like last year.

I'm sure being alone is just my thing.

I'm alone, but I spent most of my recent years with my friends. And I'm at a point in my life now where it makes sense to start letting go, slowly, of everything I know now. I watched Past Lives once again—fully—to get a complete grasp of the situation I'm in.

After all that happened today, I had spare time reconnecting with old friends like Exavier, Jaymz, and Sean. I got to tell Exavier how my year went and I'm glad he asked. I'm also happy to play Need for Speed Heat with Jaymz and Sean. I also got to talk to my sister and confide in her about how my life has went recently. Even though my feelings feel hurt, and my heart is weirdly beating for some reason, I'm glad to still have people in my life who care and love to spend time with me.