Feb 1, 2024

Today is a really surprising day. I was dealing with work things as usual and I had my fair share of work items on my plate today.

The evening was more interesting, though. I had gotten myself into an argument with someone and it was a really harsh, standoff-ish argument. It got really heated and they brought up their pains from years ago. I saw that it had hurt them pretty badly. Even though I didn't think of it as such, it was apparently very deep for them. I was at fault though, for not doing my part, and they were right in saying that it was them who did most of the heavy lifting when things go bad. I still hold on to my reasons (for the ones that are true), but I honestly admit my fault and admit that I could do better. Even though the argument somewhat ended, they still haven't made up to me and that kind of caused my mood to dip way down than we were arguing. What shocked me was how perceptive they were and how attuned they were to my emotions. They sensed that I wasn't okay. I personally thought they would go into another tirade against me or just talk about themselves, but they noticed that I still wasn't okay.

I personally was crying in the background because I'm vehemently wishing that I'll be acknowledged by someone someday. That I'll meet someone who'll be attuned to my feelings or at least listen to what I have to say. That I'll meet someone who truly appreciates me. It made me really sad, but I was eventually okay when they noticed my mood and eventually made amends for it. I'm personally glad they just admitted that they were intentionally not listening to me.

For me, I'm just glad that I was able to communicate and talk out of this. We had both expressed faults in the end and that's the only thing that made this day worthwhile for me: we can still communicate to each other. Plus I'm also glad that they cared for me, even though it wasn't much.