Get me out of this cavern or I'll cave in

Someone tried to wake me up today because they had BFT. Thankfully, I woke up not that late into someone's shift and it was just around 12:30 a.m. We talked for a bit before they invited me to play Sky again, and I'm glad to be back after having 2 whole days of not playing it. I tried the new event titled Tournament of Triumph and got a random team assigned to me. Surprisingly, I was assigned the green team of Team Wasteland, and someone revealed that they got Team Prairie. It was funny to me because our colors are our Harry Potter houses, but swapped. I'm a Hufflepuff so my color is supposed to be yellow, and they're Slytherin so they should get the color green. It was funny, but then we continued to play Sky for a bit before someone had to focus on work. I just streamed scary videos from ScareTheater and 4Plus while they did their work, and I also played SSX Tricky in the background. Eventually, someone took a few naps in between and they mostly slept until I had to leave at 3 a.m. We disconnected from VHH and I was just alone.

For some reason, I still couldn't sleep properly. I had this burning itch to do something. Eventually, I got the MacBook and completed my latest blog post. I also kept working on my blog's theme after that. I wrote a really nice fix for that theme toggler button. I still couldn't sleep, so I made do with whatever time I had and also ordered breakfast. I had a fight with my sister in the morning because I couldn't get her to buy Royal Canin while in Makati but she eventually apologized. I was still cheesed off by it.

Morning came and I timed in for work as usual. I had a few things on my plate for the morning, but I easily handled my tasks. Someone also kept talking to me on the sidelines, and eventually, Nanao came back to talk to me and even asked if I had eaten breakfast. Then they told me about this ghost story/creepy house encounter they had and I had to make up a fake reason to drop out of the conversation because I was still doing my work. I didn't talk much to them afterwards but they wished me well on my tasks, which I found sweet.

Work passed and eventually, I timed out. I felt a lot of unrest in the evening, despite having dinner and some rest. I talked to someone for a bit but then they stopped responding to me. I thought about going outside in BGC to hang around at Starbucks on 32nd Street, but I decided against it because my budget is really tight for the upcoming month. I had just bought my sister an out-of-budget guitar for her birthday and I spent almost 3,000 Pesos buying cat food and supplies for Milktea.

I felt strapped and I couldn't enjoy my salary that much. It felt like I was strangled and I was put under a lot of pressure to excel and do more. I didn't feel okay at all the whole night and I felt like I was close to snapping or having a mental breakdown. Fortunately, I just washed dishes in the evening and organized my laundry to calm myself down. I know going to Starbucks on 32nd Street was a way for me to calm my nerves and to be my safe space for when I have mental breakdowns, but unfortunately, I'm not able to tonight. I feel like I'm stretching myself thin for a lot of people and I don't have any left for myself, and I barely feel like anyone is giving some safe space or comfort to me in this period. I just felt really stressed, but I just passed the time in the evening by programming and improving my website.