The End?

I accompanied someone for BFT today but we mostly talked. Nothing noteworthy happened aside from them just being busy with their work. By the end, I was feeling super tired and I tried to help them out with their work. I did all that I can and was super exhausted. I left after helping them and giving them all the results I could find and I was only met with "oks" by the end. Not even a "good night" or "thanks for the help" and it stung.

In the morning, I woke up feeling super tired because I didn't get proper sleep. I checked my messages and I found a message from someone about some random, useless thing. Not even a "good morning" or "thanks for helping me out last night" or even a sliver of gratitude. This set off my morning horribly but I just focused and timed in for work. I asked them when we would be having our planned trips outside but they didn't respond.

Having enough, I just messaged them to call it a day. They eventually wanted to know what got into me and that's where I spilled some of what I was feeling.

They told me a few things like wanting me to be with people for my enrichment or something. I didn't really care because it was all just meaningless words so they can wash their hands of any wrongdoing while trying to get away. They eventually told me that they think of a scenario where they have chosen me, and while it tugged at my heartstrings, I know that I'm supposed to be with someone better who actively chooses me. It was lunch break already and I was crying like hell. We eventually stop the dramatic talk and they send me things on IG to which I reply, but they didn't reply anymore after I sent my reaction to the last IG Reel they sent.

I was mostly alone for the rest of the day. I feel like I needed someone to share my problems to or talk things about with, but I know my current set of friends can't do that. For once, I ran out of people to share my situation with. But whatever, I just continued work whilst being sad.

In the evening, Rachel had problems she wanted to tell me and we were supposed to play together. But I think they wanted to play Valorant and not Stardew or Lethal Company. We didn't talk much because Rachel felt tired so she went to sleep and I just had to stew in my thoughts for the evening. Times like this are when I really wish I had people to be honest to or have a friend to talk things with.