Apr 12, 2025

Today was FINALLY my first company outing that will 9999999999% be different from the ones that came before in 2022, 2023, and 2024. This time, I'm actually a new person and it's filled with fresh, new faces. I don't have someone for my mood to rely on, and I'll actually just be alone and with myself this time. This is seriously the most-exciting part of my new life: just enjoying a summer outing and not feeling that horrible anxiety that I've gotten for the past few years. I woke up relatively-early, but on time as it was just around 5 a.m. I booked a ride to One Ayala where the buses would be and I played this Taylor Swift song that randomly entered my head. I got there and it was hard to locate the people there. I actually had to call my sister and assist me in getting the number of our bus leader. It was embarrassing since I asked a few people who were from our company, but weren't part of the outing. But I eventually located the bus and I got a 2-seater seat all to myself. No one sat beside me and I got the window seat, which was pretty nice. I had the BEST time in the bus trip to Subic. I actually just looked out at the places we passed by. Early in the trip, I played various songs from Girls' Generation and a few country songs as well. That feeling was so nice since it's been such a long time since I felt comfortable on a bus trip where I just peered out the window, listening to songs. I mostly listened to Girls' Generation on the trip there and took a few pics once we got to Subic itself. We got there and we had "open cabins" near the various pools and I got settled in a one where a fellow coworker was seated. I hung around with them for a bit and they actually had a karaoke machine. I sang Edwin McCain's "I'll Be" since it's a song that the dudes there know for sure and can sing along to. It was nice and we had some morning snacks before getting the main event started. We got called and we all gathered to the beach. The main event was pretty fun. We were split up into groups and I initially didn't have a group, but I was placed in the group that all had dudes. We were the gray team and called ourselves the "Tigas Titos." It was funny and our team chant was very R-16, which was funny because I didn't expect that from the composition of the dudes here. It was funny regardless. Then we had the games which were just riddles and "guess the word being mouthed" and we absolutely failed in those events. We claim that we're all "brawn"/"tigas" and not really all brains. We got absolutely 0 in the riddle game, and barely a few points in the guessing game. We just wanted to eat lunch and get those games over with, to be honest. But after the games, everyone slowly got back to their own cabins and ate lunch. After that, some of us tapered off to swim. I wanted to be alone for a bit more so I swam and rode the lazy river for a while. I mostly thought about how my life has been and how this team building is so weird and different. It's so weird in a good way. I don't know anyone here, no one really cares about me or knows me, I'm completely alone. I guess I could say that I like being alone for now because it gives me time to think and to be in my own peaceful little bubble. After riding the lazy river, I swam around in the beach and it was really nice. I mostly swam alone, I didn't even know who the other people around me were, and it wasn't just our company in the resort, there were other people, too. I was honestly just a face in the crowd, a nobody, and I kind of like staying that way for now. I enjoyed my time there. I got back to the cabin and sang "Pare Ko" by the Eraserheads and swam more. Actually, I tried to ride a floating slide that the resort had. I was afraid to swim and get on it alone because the water was too deep by then, and I actually cut myself while getting on it! It scared me so much. But then some random dude who had his family with him swam to the floating slide and that's where I got the courage to get on the floating structure all by myself. It was hard, but I was able to make it on top of the slide alone, the random dude was just close by. He went off the slide first and I just stayed there for a bit, thinking to myself a bit more and then I took the plunge. It was exciting and a direct plunge into the sea, which was fun. Thankfully, I'm a good swimmer and I was able to swim back to shore on my own. I enjoyed the other slides and pools afterward. I also had drinks with them and we shared some Guatemalan rum, which was way too strong for me. It was such a mood staying in that cabin while a foreign guy was telling us a line-by-line translation of Despacito. We prepared to get home at around 4 p.m. and I was kind of disappointed because the trip was so short. I expected it to be overnight, and I even packed extra clothes! Oh well. I brought out my Cinnamoroll umbrella, that my coworker called cute. I also had a change of clothes and my coworker and their friend made fun of me because I had a personality now and didn't just wear black clothes, they also called me "mayor" because I had a hat. I laughed along with them, haha, because I know how silly I looked. My coworker told me how they play this game called Sky and it had Cinnamoroll in it, and that they bought a cape from it and they used to play with their Gen Z friends from the game on Discord. I actually felt my heart break as they were telling me this. It reminded me so much of someone. How we used to play Sky and call on Discord. It's really breaks my heart as they were telling me of their Sky experience but I just told them that I'm familiar with the game and I've played it before, but I don't play it anymore. My heart really hurt hearing that, though. But it's fine. We all went back to our buses and I tucked my Cinnamoroll umbrella in. Unfortunately, my Cinnamoroll umbrella broke! I tried my best to repair it and get it back in the original position, but I wasn't successful. This umbrella was just brand new and it's so cute. It really sucks. I just enjoyed the bus ride home by playing the Antok FM and UV Express playlists on Spotify. I just passed out but it was the best part of the trip: just being on a dark bus going down NLEX and it was honestly great. It definitely beats last year's anxiety-filled trip home, that's for sure. We eventually arrived at One Ayala and I booked a ride home immediately. It didn't take long before I got home, too. It was quite a quick trip since it was on a late weekend. I arrived home and immediately got to play that game I've been waiting to release for years now, and it was honestly worth it as I spent the entire night staying up to play it.