Angrily Running on Zero

Surprisingly, I couldn't sleep today and I don't know why but I just stayed up all night doing absolutely nothing. I was just scrolling and browsing the Internet on my phone all night and I barely felt sleepy until it was time for my sister to wake up and she made me some Mie Goreng for breakfast. I also got coffee today because I needed something to help keep me up and it did. I was able to time in for work early and fix up a few things and work continued as usual. The morning and afternoon wasn't really noteworthy and I talked to someone on and off until my shift ended.

After work, I was still surprisingly awake but kind of sleepy. I'm not sure if I was irritable but someone invited me to a game and I accepted. It was initially just us two playing Peak and she kept teasing and making fun of me from the start of the game. It kind of started to irritate me a little how often her jokes on me were and I didn't even get a normal minute to have some banter or talk as she was just relentless. Luan eventually joined us before the jungle stage and we kept going. He talked about being able to stay up to play the Mesa update later since he's already on vacation and I had this idea in my head of us just playing games until the update. Eventually we get through the jungle and then it's the alpine stage. Someone died midway through the run and I jumped in after them to save Bing Bong and have their character pass out. Since we had the Scout Effigy, I thought we could just revive them at a later time since we're strapped for utilities and food. I managed to save and get Bing Bong as me and Luan climbed up and found a way to the top of the alpine. While on the way, someone kept joking about me going after Bing Bong and then Luan eventually also did. They kept teasing and someone laughing so loudly hit a nerve and I started to get ticked off.

At the caldera stage, we continued through but near the end, someone fell and took down Bing Bong with them. I tried to search for Bing Bong in the lava but I eventually couldn't make it and died. When they revived me before the kiln stage, I was already pissed off. I went back to try and save Bing Bong but I couldn't see him anywhere and my heart just broke. I was trying to bring them the whole run so that us 4 could at least get to the top together, but all that happen this run was have them make fun of me and then lose Bing Bong.

I was honestly pissed off at this point but I didn't want my anger to show so I just shut up at the end. I went back to the kiln alone and had to speedrun it to the top. I passed by them and someone and Luan wondered why I wasn't talking but they could hear my keyboard sounds so my mic wasn't muted. I really just wasn't in the mood to talk. I kept climbing and climbing alone but I still helped them and showed them the way. Somehow, someone fell on the way and died leaving me and Luan to climb. I was still pointing and helping him, even giving my rope gun. Luan eventually used the scout effigy to bring someone back but she eventually died again before we got to the top and it was just me and Luan at the top by the end. Someone asked me why I was quiet and then I told them that I was ticked off. The airport stage started after the credits rolled and I left the game without saying anything.

Someone and I got into kind of like an argument but it ultimately ended up in her telling Luan to back off from joking and she herself toning it down. She didn't say sorry or seemed to feel bad about her actions, which just made me shake my head at this and I just told them that this wasn't how I expected the evening to turn out and wished them a good evening instead.

Eventually, she asks if I'm still g to play and I say I was, even though I was preparing to sleep. I got back on my PC where we played R.E.P.O. for a bit. It was honestly awkward for the first while because I was just really mad around an hour ago but we just played on. I was tense and felt off at first but things were okay and they acted completely fine, but it was mostly someone left alone trying to go through the stage and revive us. Eventually, Luan feels sleepy but I ask them to stay up and get coffee instead. I offered to order him coffee but he just made coffee on his own. I just treated someone to Starbucks to calm things down and to show that I'm not that mad anymore and as a show of good faith, which just sounds ridiculous but whatever. We kept playing R.E.P.O. until the next day rolls around. We were supposed to play Phasmophobia but then played Peak instead when the new update was out.

I'm not sure what to make out of this day, it felt horrible but continued really well so I'll jot this down as good since that idea of us playing games together throughout the whole night came true.