Jan 4, 2026

Sunday I kind of felt anxious at a lot of things. I think I was a bit anxious that today was the last day of my 2-week vacation and it felt really long at times, but also felt really short and, like, I didn't spend it much with friends. I tried to make the most of out it by browsing IG Reels all night and I even watched a movie called No Other Choice (2025) which was pretty long. After that, I had breakfast with my family for a bit and even got into a bit of an argument on some online forum, but it was all fine after breakfast.

I slept for half of the afternoon and we just prepared to leave for mass at Greenbelt Church for the rest of the afternoon. We then got ready and booked a ride to Greenbelt Church where we had ChaTraMue before attending mass.

After that, we had Ramen Nagi which was nearby, and we walked around for a bit more after that. We then went to Timezone in Glorietta where my sister and I played the Maimai DX Twin arcade game again. I saw this skilled guy with an equally-skilled girlfriend(?) accompanying him and they just played together. My sister and I played and we had some difficulty, but we had fun.

I kept looking at the guy and how happy he seems with his girlfriend. It made me super sad that I don't have someone like that in my life. It made me more sad when I realized that I don't even have my own person to do fun stuff with, which sucks. I thought for a second if someone was that person, but as I've pondered many times, the answer is no because they can't even do the basic things. Which means either that person for me is out there somewhere, or that they don't exist at all.

It kind of put me in a downcast mood for the rest of the evening because it triggered my anxiety for a bit. I need to do something with my life. I need to learn and pick up a technology, upskill, change something, pick up a hobby, and finally meet proper people IRL who aren't selfish and wholly about themselves.

Funny enough, I enjoyed my day despite having my anxiety and sadness triggered. I got to spend the day with family and I was actually alone and able to squeeze what I want out of my day. I talked to someone for a bit but then they disappeared after I told them that I would eat this pretzel from Auntie Anne's that my mom gave me. I finished the pretzel and we went home shortly afterward. We reminisced about the time we spent at Dusit Thani over Christmas, which kind of makes me feel nostalgic about it, too. We eventually got home and I just rested and browsed IG Reels until I slept for my work the next day.