Aug 11, 2026

Today started off pretty scary. I thought it would just be a normal day in my life, I was just talking to someone as I usually would and then she opens up that her friend is introducing her to this Zomboid player. She immediately tells me that she'll play with him first, as if she's excited to get to play with him, and this whole situation seemed all too familiar. It was kind of scary, the timing of all this, and how this was. This made me remember the many times when new people came into their life and how they played with them, and all the drama that followed. It kind of shook me, to be honest. It made me feel bothered because I just had a feeling that I'd be thrown into the wayside, just as the many times they've done before. I mentally discussed it with myself that I can't and shouldn't do anything to stop whatever comes and that I'll just respond appropriately when things happen. I've also decided to cut off sending money to them once that happens or things get serious between them because I do not want to get into another yucky time in my life again. We talked for a bit more after I recorded my voice note and I couldn't help but shake the feeling that I needed to do something with my life. It got doubly scary as this day was totally quiet and I didn't see them anymore for the rest of the day. I figured that they were already playing with them or something, and that I had to double my efforts. I felt more at ease at the end of the day because I just kept reassuring myself that I'll handle my emotions properly once this transpires. I also made a promise to treat myself to something good after all this hardship. I think, from this point on, my life might get a little more lonely now. But I'll try my best to just enjoy things as they end.