An Ending in 6 Days or Less

I have been through so many things in my time here on Earth. Some hardships, though, are only meant to be experienced once.

I'm very careful with how I place my emotions these days. I'm very wary of going into romantic relationships especially. I've been with a girl that just wanted to drain my money before, use me as a wallet and essentially "buy the things she wouldn't have bought." I've made that mistake before and I'm not going through it again no matter what.

When this new person asked me in the morning that it would be easier for me to buy them facial treatments worth 10,000 Pesos for 1 year, instead of me giving them 2,100 every 2 months (25,200), alarm bells instantly rang for me and sirens were blaring. I just gave this girl an exorbitant amount of money in the past few days and we aren't even together. In fact, I don't think she was ever interested. She never even called my by my nickname. I checked, and she never did. I'm in the dating pool to meet someone genuinely and not some "subscription." I'm not going to settle for someone to treat me right "at a later time" neither. I have had so, so many of those fake promises, none of which were followed through.

It's disgusting, and I'm already suffering a large burnout at the moment from giving too much to the wrong people. I've been a giver for many, many years and I'm so sick of it.

Thankfully, I took precautions. I gave money, but not my feelings. I don't feel invested in this and it's easy for me to just cut away and disappear. I'm really wary of people now, after having gone through 2 horrible experiences in a row. I'm glad I didn't get attached that much for me to be emotionally involved or else this fallout would've been horrible.

It was the opposite, it felt nice. Rather than stressing for paying for a white elephant, I felt at ease. Knowing that I can be happy on my own and I have my friends. I can gift myself my own things and appreciate them in the right way. I felt comfortable, I felt light at the fact that I didn't have to stress about this anymore. I didn't have to pay for this and that, for recurring payments, and for so much more. I'm glad I ended this early and saved myself from a lot of heartbreak. In the morning, all I felt was unease and, after telling me that I had to give her 10,000 Pesos, on top of what I've already given her (+ things I have to give in the future), my heart just sank. And, in the afternoon, it felt really nice.

In the evening, I was asked by my friends to play Fatal Frame in a call. After that, we watched The Color Purple (2023). It was pretty good. I was gripped by the movie and it moved my emotions. The call ended on a good note and I was happy afterwards. Speaking of purple things, there was still that case of that purple bouquet. I decided to give it to the only person who genuinely deserves it: my sister. I took out the love letter in the bouquet and threw it away. I asked my sister to make me coffee she got me a cup.

I felt really happy after all of that. I was still sad, a bit, because I lost a person. But I chilled back, relaxed, and played Hatsune Miku: Project DIVA Mega Mix+. I haven't played Vocaloid songs in a long time and I used to find comfort in them. One song really boosted my mood and completed my day.