A Sad Ending

I slept "early" today because I didn't accompany anyone for VHH and I slept at around 2 a.m. In the morning, I made myself breakfast by cooking the 1 pack of Buldak ramen I had stowed away along with 2 sunny-side-up eggs. Or, at least they were supposed to be if I didn't break the yolk. But I still ate my breakfast and suddenly came up with the idea to just eat hakaw and congee later in the evening as a "mood booster" thing because I felt sad that someone still hadn't messaged me, and most likely would ignore me for the rest of the day. Since I was gone for the past 2 days again, I had a lot of catching up to do and a lot of tickets to handle. Thankfully, it wasn't much and I was able to catch up fairly quickly in terms of things. I just had work and work in the morning to deal with, same around noontime.

My day was mostly boring just being by myself, and it felt lonely. But it's okay, I still trudged on because it was the only thing I could do. I felt a bit happy because that person on Slowly finally replied to me, but I have yet to write them a reply because I just wasn't in the right headspace to do so. I didn't have lunch per se, but I played Overwatch to burn the time. I won the match I was in while my meeting started, which was surprising. Someone also talked to me during this time, but it was just about work and our conversation ended after she thanked me. We didn't talk anymore after that. My mood became lighter in the afternoon and I was able to finish up my tasks for the day. I had an early out from work and prepared to go outside. And I eventually timed out and headed to BGC.

I didn't have anything planned aside from watching How To Make Millions Before Grandma Dies (2024) because I saw a friend watch it and they posted it on their Instagram. I wanted to see if it was good so I quickly got there and thankfully found a free seat for the time slot I wanted, and it didn't have any free seats for the time slot later in the evening. I was pretty lucky in finding a seat, but I had problems paying with both of my cards and the popcorn didn't have any available flavors (but I still got a bucket of it). There was a row of girls that sat to the left of me and the seat to my right was unoccupied for most of the movie, despite it being a paid Director's Club seat.

The film started and it was really good. I don't want to comment much about the story for fear of spoiling it, but it just moved me. I remembered my grandmother through the film and how we used to take care of her. I could hear the girl next to me start crying and, eventually, I was having tears. By the end of the movie, something was revealed that just made me cry outright. I was crying and I was honestly shocked that I was. Movies are my favorite thing to watch and, while I've seen a lot of them, very few have made me cry. Past Lives (2023) made me so sad, but it never made me cry this much. I guess I cried a lot because I miss my grandmother and I had some regrets about her dying 2 years ago. I was just a crying mess at the end and I instantly thought of inviting my sister to watch this with me next time.

I was crying really bad but eventually, I calmed down. I had to walk a bit to get to Uptown BGC and visited the same Tim Ho Wan restaurant I did before for some hakaw and congee. I also got Hong Kong noodle soup as another side. I just browsed Reddit and invited my sister while eating, but my situation didn't feel that lonely after watching the film. While walking, I had some thoughts about someone and I still believe that I'm better off without them. I'm sure that I'll find someone who'll actually appreciate me and what I bring, and I'll find the love that I'm deserving of. After eating, I was supposed to visit Starbucks on 32nd Street to grab a coffee and hang out with the laptop, but I decided against it since the weather looked bad. I just went home.

When I got home, someone still hadn't messaged me. I just played Overwatch for a few rounds, got POTG twice, and ended on a POTG win that proved to be a good match. I ended the day there and today was unique in that I cried a lot, but I wasn't sad at all. I wonder how my sister will react to this when she watches it with me on Sunday.