Dec 20, 2024

Today was a very chill day and it was also the first day of my Christmas vacation. For the most part, nothing noteworthy happened aside from my sister and I ordering take-out for breakfast, lunch, even dinner.

For the evening, it was dinner with my sister and I ordering take-out. And I also played Sky for the "last time" and especially the last time this year. I played it to pay respects and also see someone's account in Sky for the last time in a while. It was an incredibly heavy feeling to go and complete our dailies and dragging along someone's account with it.

By the end, a friend of someone and I, we named Little Moth, logged in and wondered why we're back online. They thought that we had stopped playing Sky and I told them what had happened. I told them that someone and I haven't spoke to each other since the end of October and that they decided to walk away. They were really shocked but also a bit sad hearing that. After telling them all that, I felt the weight and the loss I had with losing everything again and it almost made me cry. I told Little Moth to reach out to someone because I know they won't respond to me reaching out anymore, and they agreed to take on the role. They then said this:

Once again I'm so sorry, you seem so fond of her presence. I would try my best so we could fly together 3 of us.

After they said that, memories of us 3 flying and playing Sky together came back in my head. I remembered the times we were in VHH and tagging along with our old friend. I immediately cried when I remembered that. It was the first "hard cry" I had experienced in a while because I got to actually look at what I had lost. It absolutely pierced through me and I didn't expect the amount of grief I still have. I gave them the contact information of someone and my Discord username as well, asking them to freely add me if they ever do want to fly again in Sky.

I hugged them and I also hugged someone's account, and I also took photos before logging off.

It was a heavy feeling to keep for the rest of the night. I was still able to talk to Naomi and our plan to watch a movie later was still on. She had to charge her phone first and she also asked me what happened in Sky because I posted an IG Story of what happened.

After that, we watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004). I prepared 2 movies: Mamma Mia! (2008) and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and what we would watch would be depending on the outcome of Naomi's confession. Needless to say, I picked the latter even though I was really looking forward to watching Mamma Mia! We watched it and it was pretty good, I watched while eating some chocolates and I eventually picked up on the subtleties that I missed despite rewatching this so many times.

At the end, Naomi said that she liked it and I was glad I picked a good movie. I also somehow forgot the ending, which was weird. I forgot that they decided to work through things together and still make their relationship work. It left a bad taste in my mouth because I'm still dealing with me and someone falling out and it just hurt seeing two people work things out.

I also showed Ariana Grande's "we can't be friends" music video to her because it was about that movie. Naomi said that she hasn't watched the MV for it yet but she was glad that she did because she understood the references. I also showed her Taeyeon's "What Do I Call You" because it was another reference to that movie. Finally, she showed me a song that reminds her of the film and it was Wilbur Soot's "Maybe I Was Boring." It was a nice, short song to listen to and the night still went on after that.