Dec 30, 2024

Today would be another quiet day at our house and, for the most part, it was. I spent the afternoon watching How To Make Millions Before Grandma Dies with my mom and my sister, and I could tell that my mom was moved by it and my sister was crying throughout some parts. We all did our thing afterwards and we prepared to leave for SM Aura afterwards.

We got a ride and we walk around SM Aura for a bit before deciding to eat at a restaurant I wanted to go to, which was Gino's Brick Oven Pizza. I order the "meat" pizza and add blue cheese on it, while my mom orders a margherita pizza with fresh mozzarella and my sister orders carbonara. We all eat and it wasn't as filling or as "food coma"-incuding as a fast-food pizza, like from Pizza Hut and mom give me a note of how that was the case. Then we leave and go to Market! Market! to buy some magnesium and I get sleeping tablets to help with my insomnia. We eventually walk back to SM Aura because that's where we'll do our grocery shopping and, on the way there, my sister makes a happy note about how we haven't fought during this time and I just found it weird that she'd make that comment, but mom agrees and says the last time we went out as 3 to SM Aura, we had a fight. After walking a bit, we eventually get there.

We did our groceries and I helped pay for the cost using the 500 Peso gift certificate I got during our company's Christmas party. We carry the groceries around and it was quite heavy. I wanted to go to the 4th floor to rest and sit down while we were booking for a ride, which I know would take long considering that it was a holiday, Jose Rizal Day, and almost before New Year's Day. My sister gets frustrated at me for this and I point out that this would be the better decision rather than sitting on the floor waiting for a ride while we were booking, and we already did this before and hung out here while we were going home from our dinner with dad. I was right and the booking she got was cancelled and it took us a while before we got a new driver booked and it took a while for them to get here, but my sister was already pissed off at me. It turns into this huge fight and they storm out and walk downstairs alone, then my mom and I follow. By the time the driver arrives, I get in and my sister tries to push me out of the cab even though I just said that things were alright and the driver arrived as usual.

I then tell her how it was off how she acted and she didn't want to hear any more of it, and she then threatens to punch me by holding her fist to my chin and telling me to shut up. It was extremely rude and it was so off because I had never treated her like that, despite being an older brother. The car ride home was awkward and I was ruminating in my head about how disrespectful all that was.

Despite everything I did, even to the point of going outside suddenly to meet them in a city away, and cheering them up in person because they had work issues, they could do that to me is honestly just disappointing and disgusting. My kindness has been extremely taken advantage of this year by people and they abused me regardless, whether it's someone or even my sister. I never had either person listen to me talk about my problems, not even console me. People never really know how much hurt and pain I'm going through but I do my best to be there for people, and yet I'm treated like shit this way, even physically threatened.

I made the decision to just stop the car at Libingan ng mga Bayan and just walk for a bit. I played the "Some Nights" album and walked for a while alone. I then make the decision to just go to Starbucks on 32nd Street and figure things out from there. I worried about my phone's battery even though it was still at more than 60% but I get to 7-Eleven in Bayani Road, then book a ride to Starbucks, and walk to the nearby Uncle John's to buy a charger. I bought a shit charger and even a wrong connector which cost me 900 Pesos overall. I'm glad that my drink at Starbucks was free, though, because I accumulated enough points for a free drink. I stay at Starbucks for a bit to figure things out, and that's where it sinks in that I really can't depend on anyone these days.

After that, I had to go home because my stomach was starting to hurt and I rode an Angkas in the rain. I'm glad my phone didn't get wet, though, and I eventually arrived home and just used my phone for a while.