Oct 6, 2025

Today was kind of stressful and a bit irritating, not gonna lie. I didn’t get much sleep from last night because I drank coffee before leaving Starbucks at 10 p.m. so I was still kind of buzzed. I didn’t really do anything productive, but I just had this feeling of needing to be productive for no reason. I eventually passed out and went to sleep and I began my morning seemingly-okay.

In the morning, I had some spare time to play R.E.P.O. with Luan and someone. We spent a few minutes trying out mods in R.E.P.O. but they didn’t work because of a recent update, so that sucks. We played Peak instead and we got through the shore, jungle biomes just fine. But Luan had an issue on the alpine biome while we were talking about the new Sora 2 AI videos. Luan eventually disconnected and someone and I were left to continue to the cauldron and kiln together. I died at some part in the cauldron due to lava and someone revived me at the kiln, where I died again because I didn’t really have much resources on me and the kiln seed was pretty difficult. I mostly guided someone through the kiln and gave her some directions. She eventually was able to reach the peak and we completed Ascent 2! So that was nice.

For the rest of the day, work just started and continued on. A friend randomly messaged me in the afternoon and we talked for a while. They eventually told me that I’m not doing well with my finances and literally told me that my “situation still looks the same” and I was deeply offended. I didn’t need this kind of talk from anyone, especially since they don’t know how much shit I’ve gone through these past few months. It literally irritated me and was the main reason why my day turned sour. I HATE being told that my life isn’t getting better when I know it fucking is and I know how hard I’m trying. It’s honestly the most offensive thing someone can say to me as a person who fears and dreads stagnancy. It was disgusting so I told them off and I just left them on read because I don’t need friends like that.

The rest of the day continued but I was already pretty pissed off at that point. Still, I was able to have good dinner and spent time with someone in a call before going to bed. We still mainly discussed Taylor Swift’s new album and we even played 1 round of chess before I went to sleep. I still enjoyed my day and the other people I spent it with made up for the difference, plus feeling productive at work and making some moves to change my life really helped at the end.

I just felt this extreme feeling that I should fucking change my life. Like really change my fucking life, to run far away and to get so high away from this place. I even punched my bed frame because I got so frustrated at the end but I’m glad I felt this rather than complacency.