Oct 7, 2025

I tried my best to “lock in” and get my game face ready but I couldn’t sleep because I was still so bothered by what my friend said. I eventually thought about writing a blog post on how I just feel like I don’t feel connected to people anymore and I don’t believe in the strings that used to bound my heart to things. Someone eventually messaged out of the blue and I replied immediately which kind of shocked them because I was still awake. I told them that I was thinking of a few things and they surprisingly were open to listening to me vent, which was a total shocker for me. I eventually get my MacBook and got into a call with them.

We talked for a while about my problems and I vented some things to them. It was kind of nice because it’s been a while since I vented to a person. They mostly sided with my friend and empathized them more which kind of wasn’t what I need but I appreciated the alternative thought. Part of me still believes that I’m right because I did tell my friend what I was going through and I didn’t get a “sorry, I didn’t know you were going through so much.” Someone and I talked for a bit more about other, lighthearted things before we left the call and called it a day.

In the morning, I was still ruminating about what happened yesterday and I affirmed that my thoughts are valid. Everyone has shit they go through. Everyone has silent struggles. I went through my own and didn’t tell anybody, and I didn’t need a friend telling me “nothing’s changed with your situation.” I tried to sever the thoughts as I was getting to the office.

I eventually got to work okay and it’s been a while since I’ve been back to the office. One of our seatmates has a newhire and one of my coworker friends immediately teased them to me. But we had lunch out together and just talked about upcoming performance evaluations. I went back to work and my coworkers kept teasing me and I kept acting my usual way when I get teased.

But eventually work resumes and I get so busy with work. I hyper-focus on my tasks for today even though Tuesdays aren’t that stressful. I continue being busy until the evening but I took a pic of my work outfit for my IG Story and for Locket before continuing to work for hours. In the evening, I got some merienda and I booked a ride home afterward. Someone also tried to play chess with me on my commute home and her queen decimated all of my chess pieces until she won at the end.

For the rest of the evening, I was on call with someone. I had fun talking to them and we joke around so many things like me being so picky yet not being that much of a catch. I pointed out my flaws and laughed at them as well. We tried to play Love and Deepspace but someone’s Internet got cut off and I had to give them mobile data so we could continue calling. We kept talking about Taylor’s relationships and I helped them out with their work at the end. We also ordered food separately and ate together, I mainly ate a salad from Wendy’s. After helping them out with their website, I did some catching up on my own things and got some sleep.