Oct 11, 2025

My day started with me still accompanying someone throughout their entire night shift because it was a Friday. I got food for them because they were going through a lot in life and I ordered some food as well.

We talked about a lot of topics during this time but one I kept in mind was this question where I asked her why she wasn’t in any relationships right now. She told me she’s too selfish but she didn’t elaborate when I asked further. It was weird but I just tried to not mind it because I should just not care if they get into relationships or not, they’re not my priority and not someone I’m pining for. I signed up for a chess.com account and they tried to coach me in a game but it didn’t really work out and I lost. I’m not sure what caused it, but I started feeling that same sense of frustration because I didn’t feel like I was doing anything in my life. Someone just kept singing along to musicals and eventually shared her screen so I could watch her play some chess against this guy she’s working with. I also asked her what made her really get into chess since she’s been really into it recently and she told me that in our playthroughs of Outlast: Trials was when she got into it because they had chess in the player lobby. Eventually their chess match ends and someone and I disconnect from the call.

At this time, I was already feeling frustrated at myself because today seems like such a good day outside and to be productive but my sleep is totally wrecked and I’m probably going to just sleep this day off. I tried to plan for going out today with no sleep but held off on it when someone asked me if I’ll sleep and I tell them that I plan to do other things instead. She tells me that she wants to play BioShock Infinite so I just watch them play the game for a while. They struggle with it a lot since it’s a first-person story game and the mappings were for an Xbox controller when she was playing using the PlayStation Dualsense controller I gave her last year. She eventually ends her playthrough for the day we got off call. My sister ordered food this time and we just eat some Andok’s for today. I ate and I just passed out shortly afterward. I didn’t even lock my room or turn on the AC because I was just that tired.

My sister wakes me up in the evening so I could eat and I get up feeling horrible at 7 p.m. I think I barely slept because I woke up in sweat and my eyes hurt. I still have dinner and watch a YouTube video about the distant future of Adventure Time. I thought about leaving for the night to be productive and do some programming at Starbucks but I held off on it. I just programmed at home on my Linux PC and I was able to make significant progress so I capped off the programming for the day. For the rest of the evening until the following early morning, I just caught up on things I needed to do before going to sleep.