That's the Catch!

Today initially moved like any other, with me still overthinking about yesterday and how shitty my life has become over the past few years. I was still talking to someone about it via chat and I explained to them via text and I notiAssithat they eventually slept. I didn't want to stay up anymore by overthinking it, so I just read “Goodbye, Eri” and left Mon a message and slept.

In the morning, I woke up to a few messages from someone and they were worried about me because it seemed like I was spiraling to them. It was super nice to see that they were worried about me. They offered to listen to me rant while they play video games and it was really touching hearing that coming from them. It helped me feel a lot better because I've just been so beaten up by life recently. I talked to them and we got into a call where they streamed Red Dead Redemption 2 while I mostly watched and we talked for a bit. I timed in for work and started on my usual round of daily tasks.

Over the course of the day, and in my free time, Luan streamed his own gameplay of Resident Evil 7. He streamed it while I was doing work in the background, too. It was around this time where Mon messaged me and told me about what she did throughout the day. I also got groceries delivered and my sister and I had Jollibee for take-out.

For some reason, I just felt absolutely hurt and a bit betrayed, to be honest. I had held off on the idea that I might like them, even though I extremely enjoyed us hanging out. I always felt like they were “too perfect” and there had to be some sort of “catch” or red flag, and it was absolutely soul-crushing to have learned all of that today. Thankfully, I was at my house and I was with friends, so I felt a little shielded from the blow.

In the afternoon to evening, I wrapped up with work. I eventually had the space to open this up to someone, and I was only able to tell them a bit since they didn't offer much to console me. I got back into a call with someone and Luan, and I treated someone to tokwa because they haven't eaten all day, and they also insisted I eat even though I wasn't planning to. I just ordered McDonald's and I ordered additional drinks and this vodka + Sprite drink because I just felt like getting drunk a little, even though I haven't had alcohol in a long time. With honestly how shitty this and the past day was, I could use a drink.

I mostly just watched Luan stream Resident Evil 7 while I was eating and drinking. I was also trying to process my feelings in the background and move on. Eventually Jaze says that he's almost going to leave so that we can hang out and I eventually left the stream to hang out with Jaze.

I told Jaze everything and of how hurt I felt. I'm glad that he was just down to listen and to lend an ear. We wanted to go to Popeyes but they were closed for a bit. So we went to some food tents in McKinley West as I ordered a few things. I ordered isaw since I was craving for it, but they didn't cook it well so I kind of felt like I wasted my money. I told Jaze of what happened and all the things I discovered today, and he suggested that I just move on. I told him that's exactly what I was planning to do and I'm glad I was able to stop myself from having feelings this early on.

We tried the KFC nearby and ordered some stuff from there, then we stopped by our usual Assi Fresh Plaza we just bought stuff and talked as the night went on.