Mar 6, 2024

Today started really bad, our things still weren't fixed from yesterday. I was still feeling very horrible. After the daily stand up meeting, I decided that I couldn't it and called for a day off.

I didn't know what to feel. Part of me wants to leave them and my current life behind, but part of me wants to bring everything back.

I went to think about things and talk to myself for a bit. I kept asking myself, throughout the entire time, where was my soulmate. The person I'm supposed to be with. Where are they? Unfortunately, I didn't know the answer at this time and I told myself that it's impossible to know. I looked outside and figured that she was probably working at an office in the big cities.

Time ticked slow, very slow. I was still filled with anxiety as the days before, and I remarked how this time was a repeat of last year: filled with anxiety, emoting. It was around early March, too. Eventually, I ate dinner by buying myself that good squid I had last year (although it didn't live up to expectation) and had a heavy feeling in my chest. I stayed up until 1 a.m., unsure of what to do but I still greeted someone a happy birthday.

I was unsure of what to feel throughout the entire day and I was conflicted for the most part. Still, I was disappointed at how things were a repeat from last year.